Crisis. Existential in nature.
How do you describe yourself?
I read my “About me” and I cringe. It’s not funny. And I think I’m pretty funny. I mean, I photoshopped red eyes on a squirrel. That kind of comic gold doesn’t just happen, right?
So, then I think, well, maybe I should just put something nonsensical, like a movie quote or something. But does “I’m gonna come at you like a spider monkey” really encompass the totality of my persona? Does it impart my essence, per se? No, I can’t really say it does.
Unless “I’m gonna come at you” means I’m going to visit your profile and comment. Then sure, I’m gonna come at you. Often. But not like a spider monkey. I happen to think I’m a pretty friendly person, and spider monkeys aren’t really known for their benevolence. Plus, “I’m gonna come at you like a benevolent monkey” just sounds ridiculous.
So, fine. Scratch the monkey idea. I’m sure there are other avenues to explore.
How about an amusing personal anecdote?
Well, let’s see…
Oh, did I ever tell you about the time my brother cut off his own finger? On purpose?
You know, now that I think of it, that’s really more about him than it is about me. Though it is quite an amusing tale. (And maybe I’ll post about it if you ask me nice enough.)
Okay. What now? Make stuff up? I can do that. I write fiction after all.
Oh, did I ever tell you about the time my brother DIDN’T cut off his own finger?
That story’s not quite as amusing.
Well, people, I’m out of ideas! So, help me out here—
What have you always wanted to know about Avery Gray but were afraid to ask? Now’s your chance!*
*I reserve the right to blow you off, but still…
--Little FYI here: The venerable Novembrance has tagged me to list ten literary characters I would totally snog if not for the fact that I am happily married and said snoggable characters were not imaginary. Be looking for my answers tomorrow!!