Thursday, October 18, 2007

Emma Ruined It

Yep, that's right. You can all blame Emma. She ruined it for everyone.

What am I referring to? Why, today's post, of course! It was gonna be great. There were going to be photoshopped pictures, possibly of me in front of an American flag. Also a delicious stuffed mushroom recipe, and a series of provacative "would you rather" questions. But she had to go and pull the rug out from under me.

Why would she do such a thing?

Because she hates puppies! And small children. And probably hippies.

Well, everyone hates hippies. That's nothing new. What did she do?

Well, I'll tell you. It all began with this confrontational post, wherein she details the requirements which must be met to get on/stay on her blogroll. (It really is a funny post. You should read it!)

'There's nothing to fear,' I tell myself. 'I'm sure I'm on the blogroll. I'm freaking hilarious!'


About the being on the blogroll thing, not the freaking hilarious thing. Because I am. Freaking hilarious. But I'm not on the blogroll. Or at least I wasn't until yesterday, when she so graciously added me.

And blew my Emma Sometimes Blogroll Campaign.

[Insert photoshopped picture of me in front of billowing American flag]

See, now doesn't it make sense?

I was going to woo her with things like this:

My Fortune Cookie told me:
You may be infinitely smaller than some things, but you're infinitely larger than others.
Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

and this:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

And quotes like this:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

"I've enjoyed my reign as romance icon for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! and believe the time is right to pass the torch to the hunk who best represents the new generation of romance and fantasy and can embody the fresh, butter taste of the new I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" --Fabio, March 2006

Good, funny stuff!

But, no! She goes and steals my thunder clean away. Well, I have one thing to say to you, Ms. Sometimes...

Thank you so much. That was very sweet!

(Quick question--how does one "embody the fresh, butter taste of the new I Can't Believe It's Not Butter"? Sounds like antibiotics should be involved.)


loveyh said...

Seek help. Seriously. Oh, wait, I'm coming over to help today. I don't know if I'm a PRO, but I'm helpful! :)

Dapoppins said...

Emma has a blog roll?

R said...

Hey, so I guess the world is all even because I am not even on your blogroll and I am BLASTED HILARIOUS. I mean, I am sort of witty---well, before you came along...lately I have been struggling because, uh, um, school started and I have the life SUCKED out of me on a daily basis, and I suppose that life is sort of good lately because when it is good there is not much to complain and get all sarcastic about and then it is only really funny when I get mad and then explain horrendous things in a sort of despicable fashion, and oh, I get it. It is not because I have lost my wit. It is because I insulted Evanescence. AND a wit that I do have does not exist because I have lost it in the lovely wiles of homeschooling rankness.

Aren't you glad you met a psycho like me?

And guess what? Evanescence is on RIGHT NOW.

Ok, I better go make some cookies.

newnorth said...

My fortune cookie "Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense." :D lol, so true.

Congratulations on making the blogroll :p

dawn224 said...

She clearly waived the f bomb rule for me :)

Pixelation said...

... and then I realized that my blogroll hasn't been updated since the Nixon administration.

Sheila said...

Congrats for being "accepted", but darn her for stealing your thunder!! :)

Bec said...

hhhmmm I meet most of the requirements but I think at some point I'll talk about magic and/or fortune telling so you'll have to count me out.

Love the "can't believe it's Fabio" quote lol

Joeprah said...

People ask me that question all the time (the one about embodying and all that) and I just tell them I do it one day at a time.

Ba Doozer said...

Emma knows that if she takes me off her blogroll I'll pretty much stab her with my knife and then run her over with a ford focus, so in other words, she is afraid of me so she forgot to mention that on her list.
I on the other hand am a rude person who has no blogroll because that's how rude people roll

christina said...

emma ruins everything! Now I know why we are at war in Iraq!

Mert said...

Emma's post is hilarious!

Fabio... Oh Fabio, with your buttery goodness and six pack abs... I will miss your Long flowing hair in the margarine commercials, though probably not very sanitary ;)

Emma Sometimes said...

~takes a bow~

Oh, Avery, you had me at nose picking picture. Of course I would link you. Hey, do pirates get hit in the face with a flying goose when they ride roller coasters? Just wondering...

Christina, don't forget global warming, world hunger and all those who spell Karma Sutra wrong. ~snicker~

Avery Gray said...

Lovey--why don't you go post a blog or something?

Dapo--you didn't even know, and you were on it?! Is there no justice?!

R--I'm sure it was an oversight on my part, or I was a little afraid of you. Can't remember which.

Newnorth--thank you! Thank you!

Dawn224--she refused to waive any rules for me. And did you have to pay a membership fee?

Pixel--that's funny coming from someone who wasn't even alive when Nixon died.

Sheila--she's like that. What can I say?

Bec--appreciate the Fabio, do you? It'll be our little secret. ;o)

Joeprah--wise words. Thanks for that.

Doozer--the Ford Focus has a surprising amount of horsepower compared with similar cars in its class. Good choice.

Christina--it's clear to me now! Wow!

Mert--you are not allowed to proclaim Emma's post hilarious if you do not preface it with "While no one holds a candle to you..."

Emma--they get hit in the face by flying geese more than you'd think. Little known fact.

Anonymous said...

I would appreciate more visual materials, to make your blog more attractive, but your writing style really compensates it. But there is always place for improvement

Anonymous said...

Wow, this paragraph is good, my younger sister is analyzing such things, thus I am going to tell her.

Here is my homepage ::

Anonymous said...

It's a pity you don't have a donate button! I'd most certainly donate to this fantastic blog! I guess for now i'll
settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to
my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share
this website with my Facebook group. Talk soon!

Here is my web site -

Anonymous said...

Hurrah! After all I got a webpage from where I be capable of
genuinely take valuable data concerning my study and knowledge.

Here is my site - just click the following page