When you were very young, we had some difficult times. Tests and evaluations—none of them conclusive. You were a trooper, even if you didn’t understand.
And today, when you saw me cry, when you put your hand on my arm and said, “It’s okay, Mommy. Don’t cry,” and looked at me with concern in those big blue eyes, that was the bright spot of my day.
You are always the bright spot of my day.
You take my pain on your shoulders. So much to bear for someone so small. But you are determined to ease my burden.
When did you get to be so strong?
I thought we were past the worry. I thought we could finally get on with life. No more tests, no more questions, no more fear about what lies ahead for you. But life is a constant test. Don’t we know that by now?
You will have challenges in your future. And I will face them with you, whatever they may be.
I don’t care if you’re not like the other kids. I don’t care what they find. “Different” can be good. No one ever made history by being like everyone else.
One day, I fear, you may be angry with me. You may wonder if there was anything I could have done to make a difference earlier in your life. My answer to you would be that I did my best. Sometimes clarity can only be achieved through time.
But if I’ve failed you, if I’ve made your life harder, or taken away chances that might have been available to you if not for me, know that I grieve. But come tomorrow, you will see no tears. Come tomorrow, we move on. We get up, and dust ourselves off, and leave our regrets behind. Because tomorrow, there is only determination. Tomorrow has not been written for us yet.
But today, I hurt.
Because I bruise easily for you...