Saturday, October 20, 2007

My Apology to "Don"

Dear "Don",

I know in the past we've had our differences. I was the irate American woman who questioned your language comprehension abilities, despite the fact that you know at least one more language than I do passably well. You were the frustrated Indian man with a crappy call center job, squeezing a much-abused stress ball and sticking pins in an Uncle Sam voodoo doll. Understandable. You bring out the worst in us, what can I say?

Well, I can say this--"Don", I'm sorry. I was wrong, you were right.

Does that make you feel any better? Probably not, since I doubt you'll ever see this, but it's enough that the sentiment is floating around the interweb, isn't it?

See, "Don", I'm just a stupid woman. When my husband hands me an explanation for anything technical, I just nod my head in wonderment at his amazing brain powers. And occassionally he is proven very, very wrong. Especially when it's his fault and he's trying to cover his tracks. Silly boy!

The washer incident was one of those times. When he told me the dent in the washer drum was due to it hitting a component inside the washer, I nodded my head, as per usual, and he scratched me under the chin and fed me a treat. Oh, what a happy stupid woman I was that day!

Come to find out, it was my husband's fault. He left a screw in the pocket of one of the pairs of pants he put in to wash, and it went through one of the little holes and caught on the outer plastic drum. And the rest, as they say, is history.

"Don", it takes a big person to admit they're wrong, and an even bigger person to admit they're wrong AND married to an IDIOT!! So, I hope you'll accept my apology and let bygones be bygones. After all, it's not like we'll ever be speaking to each other again in our entire lives. Best to let it go, right?

But while I have you here, check out my answers for the meme Dan Leone was suckered into. Bernard Pivot's Questions from 'Inside the Actor's Studio':

1. What is your favorite word?
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

2. What is your least favorite word?
Crapper

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually, or emotionally?
A working washer--wait, that sounds dirty!

4. What turns you off?
Call centers

5. What is your favorite curse word?
Bitch

6. What sound or noise do you love?
The hum of my beautiful washer

7. What sound or noise do you hate?
Alarm clock buzz

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Interior decorator

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Call center operator

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
“Your husband’s been waiting for you a long time.”

15 comments:

Mert said...

Waiting for a long time* hahahaha* I can so relate. Why is it that the smartest guys do the dumbest thing? Oh well, try to focus on one of his better attributes and that will make you feel better. I tell The Male Income Support Unit all the time that I only keep him because he has a nice butt. ;)

newnorth said...

DOH! Well they should have made the holes smaller! :)

I hate alarm clocks too

loveyh said...

The Male Income Support Unit

Greatest.line.EVER.

Okay, so someone should tell the WRITER that it's "Your husband," not "You're husband." That someone is me. :) Love the apology..should you call back LG until "Don" answers? Do you need to do laundry on Monday?

Avery Gray said...

It is "Your". What are you talking about?

Look, I wrote this at 6 o'clock in the morning. What do you want from me?

Christina said...

and the plot thickens!

Bec said...

lmao!

Did you end up having to pay for the repairs?

cate said...

in the wise words of Homer Simpson, d'oh!

so did you get it fixed? should i assume that this "accident" is not covered by the warranty?

Jod{i} said...

Tee hee....Call Center Operator... could not agree more!

Avery Gray said...

Thanks for the comments!

For those of you who are curious, the repairman who came out to fix the washer said that they would go ahead and cover the cost since the washer is only six months old. That is the ONLY reason my husband still has all his extremities. And I mean, the ONLY reason.

Well, that, and because, as Mert says, he is the Male Income Support Unit (LMAO!!) I kinda need him to go to work and stuff. But other than that...

Blondie said...

"Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis."

[scratch head]
"Definition, please."
[sky write word]
"Etymology, please"
[scratch head]
"Can I have a vowel, please?"

Cute meme!

Avery Gray said...

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis is more commonly referred to as "black lung disease." Black lung disease is the common name for coal workers' pneumoconiosis (CWP) or anthracosis, a lung disease of older workers in the coal industry, caused by inhalation, over many years, of small amounts of coal dust.

Definition compliments of healthatoz.com. ;o)

Mad goat lady said...

Just love your answer to #10...had me in stitches LOL!

Sheila said...

Seriously laughing over here! It takes a great person with some big OVARIES to admit they were wrong! I love the list!

Lisa said...

That is the ONLY reason my husband still has all his extremities. And I mean, the ONLY reason. Hahahaha. This sounds like something I would say.

I'm glad your washer's fixed already. :) I really wouldn't worry about it. I'm pretty sure Don's had worse calls. Hehe.

dan leone said...

"Your" funny!