Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I'm Thankful for...Dreams

I'm a zombie today. So tired!

Why did I do this to myself? I stayed up reading a book until 2 in the morning. The worst part--it wasn't even a good book! It was repetitious and inconsistent and filled with flowery language (aka purple prose) like this:

"Her heart felt his absence and broke into pieces. Like torn paper, scattered by the wind of a fan. Swirling, and made distant one from another by the constant battering force of the air through the spinning blades. Whirling and twirling, never grounded. Just like she felt. Insubstantial. Alone."


It was a train wreck, yet I couldn't stop reading! I wanted to see every gory detail to the very end. To see if it could get even worse, then reveling when it did. Every overused cliche, every instance of "telling", every time the author drove her idea into the ground until any semblance of life was leeched out of it propelled me to the inevitable end.

I'm sick that way.

You might say that I'm a very opinionated reader. When it comes to books, I have a certain expectations--that they be coherent, that they have a plot, and that they follow said plot until the conflict is resolved. Is that too much to ask?!

Apparently, if this book is anything to go on.

The thing is, as a writer, it's career suicide to express any opinion other than "Loved it! Can't wait for the sequel!" Especially for a "pre-published author", like myself. Editors won't touch you if you go all 300 on other writers' work.

Imagine that!

But they have no qualms about treating you like this...

Oh, to live the dream!


R said...

Yeah, that was a bad excerpt. Ick.

What the heck are you reading?

Amy Turn Sharp said...

I like the prepublished mentality.
What book you reading? Have you read to new alice sebold? I am thinking of getting it from the bary...I have heard bad reviews though...Your doing a great job with yr nablopomo posting- I love the theme babe!

Kimberly said...

I'm thinking you should go with the flowery cliches...full force. Title it "The Worst Romance Novel Ever Written" and sell it for laughs. I'd buy it just for the giggle.

Seriously though? Some of that wasn't too bad. I liked the bit about the fan, actually. Great imagery. =)

Rimarama said...

Is that excerpt seriously from a published work? If yes, dude, I could TOTALLY write a book!!!!

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

Yeesh, I tried reading that prose you read from the book and it put me to sleep! How'd you stay up til 2 am reading that?


Avery Gray said...

R--Oh, would that I could tell you! But, like I said, I'd be stringing my own noose.

Amy--what a sweetie you are! No, I haven't read the new one. I'm so far behind on my reading, I'm going to have to add another TBR shelf to hold everything! I'll get around to it, I'm sure.

Kimberly--the sad part is, some people write like that ON PURPOSE! If I were to write a cliche-filled romance novel, I'd just sell it to Harlequin. That's their bag, baby!

Rimarama--yep! I'm just hoping someone else will come along who can identify it. It's killing me that I can't point an accusing finger and say, "BAD!! BAD!! Stay far away!" But I do want to be published someday.

Avery Gray said...

RNNB--that's just it, it was so bad, it was good! Good in a very bad way. The best worst book I've read in ages!

R said...

I've been on here for a century by accident! I bet you are afraid now! LOL!

Avery Gray said...

R--not at all. You spruce up the joint.

Mike said...

Hey, I'm equally critical about the books I read. If they don't have creative aliens and mind-blowing time-travel, then I'm booing through the last chapter!

Radioactive Jam said...

Hey did you notice all your posts have started with "I'm Thankful for..." something for like, almost a month now? Cheese and crackers woman, can't you throw in a little VARIETY every now and then? What, are you posting on some kind of THEME or something? And what's with this writing a post EVERY SINGLE DAY?!
Sorry. I got hit in the head a few times when I fell down in front of a Black Friday stampede.

Okay I totally made that up, and have no excuse at all for the preceding clueless rant. But if I *had* been shopping and *did* get trampled, that would explain a few things.

The pre-existing weirdness, not so much. But still.

Avery Gray said...

Mike--but you'll love my books, right?

RaJ--you finally caught on! I knew it was only a matter of time! ;o)