For this reason, I am always reticent to give advice on anything other than the proper way to ice a squirrel. (Trust me--those buggers have it coming!) I'm also leery of taking advice from strangers. Unless you're Bob Ross, don't even try to tell me how to paint happy little clouds. I won't listen.
I read an article yesterday that caught my eye. It was called "Surprising Love-Life Boosters", and was written by a woman named Margot Carmichael Lester, "self-proclaimed verbal tycoon".
Excuse me a moment while I resort to snark.
Verbal tycoon? That's an apt label. She writes articles on everything from writing to architecture to relationships to religion to education to...
Blah blah blah blah blah.
Are you familiar with the term "jack of all trades, master of none"?
That's not to say an individual can't have knowledge in a wide variety of subjects. But having read the article, I feel totally qualified to declare Margot Carmichael Lester a prolific windbag.
Consider these pointers on how to improve your relationship:
1. Get a pet.
Great idea. Husband is emotionally absent. Wife is a nag. Things are going downhill fast, so one resorts to looking up articles online to fix the gaping hole where love used to be. What a fantastic home that would make for Fido! He'll be the miracle cure, just like a child or an expensive sports car would be. Good call, MCL!
2. Cook together.
Know why this won't work? If one or the other liked to cook, they'd be in the kitchen doing it already. If the other avoids it like the plague, chances are it doesn't appeal. It equates to scrubbing toilets to get in the mood. Maybe that does it for you... I won't judge.
3. Volunteer together.
Let me make it clear, I am not knocking volunteering. I am knocking it as a romance-building exercise. If you go into it thinking your partner is going to see you in a different light (like a backlight haloing you in an ethereal glow), let me remind you of all the times he/she has seen you flip off hobos.
4. Hula hoop.
Yes, it really says that.
5. Go stag.
Hey, she's 1 for 5! This I agree with. Couples must cultivate their own interests and hobbies, and time apart is just the way to do that. Could she be turning this thing around?
6. Meditate together.
Nope. Communal meditation? I have three words for you: Damn. Dirty. Hippies.
7. Read together.
Great. If you and your significant other share the same taste in reading material. Not so great if, say, one of you likes chick lit, and the other likes operating manuals for the robotic arms on chemical reactors. (Not that I'd know anyone else who could relate to that.) Listening to my husband read is like nails on a chalkboard. His monotone rendition of "Cat in the Hat" not only puts my son to sleep, it has me nodding, too. Him listening to me read from one of my books would put him in a catatonic stupor. So, I don't ever see it happening.
So, what do you think? Does Margot have the right of it, or is she a know-nothing blabbermonkey?
Whose advice do you detest most in the world?