Ethan and I had breakfast with a friend of mine yesterday. I haven't seen Meghan in a little over a month, so it was nice to catch up. She's a single mom with two kids--one of which is an uber-intelligent, precocious (read obnoxious) little girl about Ethan's age. Unfortunately, her kids were in school, so Ethan was forced to entertain himself while the adults gossiped about a certain other friend's foray into lunacy.
The topic switched gears when I told her that Ethan was being evaluated by the school district for his "behavioral abnormalities".
She, being the good friend that she is, was adequately aghast. "What behavioral abnormalities?" she asked with just the right hint of outrage. "He seems normal to me."
"I know," I replied. "But his teachers say he doesn't interact with the other kids, and when they try to do group activities, he just spaces out and doesn't listen."
"He's four!" Meghan reminds me.
"I know, I know. But they say it's unusual. Whenever I talk to his teachers, they always tell me how bright he is."
Meghan says nothing. She tries to suppress a giggle.
Wait. That's not the appropriate response. Let me try that again.
"They tell me he's really intelligent."
Meghan laughs. Right out loud.
My mom gloves are on the verge of coming off.
Does she think he's not smart? Why? Just because she's got some freakishly brainy five-year-old who will probably mastermind a plot to take over the world before she’s out of grade school?
(I wouldn’t put it past her, either. That kid is pint-sized evil.)
"Well, I know he's not the same kind of smart as Madeline, but..."
Tears are rolling down her cheek at this point.
Am I missing something?
I look over to where my precious, intelligent little man...
Is licking the plate-glass window.
"Ethan! Stop that! That's gross. It's dirty."
Come on. Work with me here. I'm trying to sell you as a normal kid! It's not gonna work if you're giving the windows at Shari's a tongue bath.
He turns to look at me, eyes wide and guileless.
"But, Mom," he says, "it tastes like Christmas."
Oh, did I mention his evaluation is today? Yeah. Wish us luck. We could use a tasty miracle about now.