Wednesday, November 7, 2007

I'm Thankful for...Teeth

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This is going to be the Best. Post. Ever.

Or not.

Virus is ravaging my body--thanks, Mike!--and I can't help but admit I'm phoning it in today. Hence the lame ass topic.

Hey, what do you want from me? I'm here, aren't I?

Well, in a sense, I am. Part of me is floating high above the clouds in a DayQuil-induced delerium. But the other part of me--the part that is shaking an angry fist at my husband and cursing him for leaving me in this lowly state with a sick child AND an empty refrigerator--is trying to make the best of this misery by inviting you to share it with me.

Good times.

It's bad enough that I'm sick, but my poor little guy puked his guts out repeatedly last night. I'm sure you're all joining your voices in a chorus of Aw. Well, don't! Today, he's at home with me instead of at school, and now that he's gotten all the yuckies out of his system, he's running around like a syphilitic monkey.

And I think we've already established that syphilis isn't funny. I'd like to add, it's not cute either.

He's deranged.

I took the deranged little monkey to the dentist yesterday morning (that's where the teeth come in), and he did great. His teeth are very clean, no cavities. Yay!

He has the good fortune to have my teeth. I'm 30, and I've never had cavities either. But my mouth does hide a head-scratcher:

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That's a tooth that grew sideways in my jaw. I had no idea. I have a rational and completely justified fear of dentists, so these x-rays were only taken a year ago. First dental x-rays I'd ever had.

I'm supposed to go to an oral surgeon to have is extracted, and each time I go in for a cleaning now, they ask me if I've made an appointment with the guy they referred me to. I just say no, and flash them my winning 31-tooth grin.

I detest mouth pain.

Since this post is already a meandering mess, I'll put a nail in the coffin and add that the dental hygienist told me I have a remarkably strong tongue.

High five!


Jod{i} said...

Well now isnt that just a corker?! I, I wouldnt know how to take that...

I mean well, yes I would...

And ooo ahhh the day quil delirium...Fun is..

Hope you feel better soon!
And um congrats on the strong tongue :D

Melissa Garrett said...

Strange x-ray, indeed! When I had all four wisdom teeth surgically removed a few years ago, I was out for the count. All I remember is the nurse putting the mask on my face. Next thing I know, the poor lady is trying to help me get on my coat, without much success! I was in no pain, as I had SWEET pain medication which allowed me to take a nice nap . . . probably the best sleep in the past four years! Before that, I was TERRIFIED to have my wisdom teeth out. It went really, well though, so make that appointment ;-)

The 5 Bickies said...

If it ain't broke don't fix, I mean pull, it. Why would they take it out if it doesn't bother you? I was born with only 1 wisdom tooth (go figure - nothing to do with my intelligence mind you) and it has grown 1/2 the way in and because it doesn't bother me they leave it.

Mike said...


Maybe it's your source of strength or wit though. Without it perhaps your tongue goes limp and your blog posts shrivel up.

Bec said...

Why do you need to have it removed? Is it painful? Will it cause problems down the road? If not than leave the damn thing where it is!

I hope you're feeling better soon.

R said...

That's the pits, being sick. I would not take DayQuil though. That stuff is like taking a pill full of nothing. I would take Sudafed; it actually dries you up like you want, you just have to ask for it at the pharmacy counter.

I am thirty too. I have had multiple cavities, root canals, and extractions. Don't make me smile.

Candace said...

wow! If you post like that when you're not feeling well....
geez, with the photos and shizz? dang, girl!
feel better and keep the funny coming!

The Lazy Iguana said...

I had my wisdom teeth yanked. They were growing in crooked and were going to get impacted and whatever.

It was painless. I opted for the "enough drugs to put me under" method of extraction. I got drugged, was out of it for however long I was out, and when I came around someone had cut 4 teeth out of my head.

I got some cool painkillers, but I did not take them. I never needed them.

yajeev said...

Ha! My dentist recently told me I had a remarkably large tongue.

(shameless self-promotion)

Kimberly said...

Same thing happened to me, seriously, I'm not one of those creepy "Me too!" people. Really, I'm not. I had it happen on both sides of my mouth. Had the surgery, got hopped up on liquid codeine after and went seriously loopy. It was one of the happier times of my life, actually. Is that weird?

Deb said...

I don't know who these people are who enjoyed their oral surgery experiences, but they're clearly either still on the drugs their dentists gave them, or they had surgery before the age of 18. I had my wisdom teeth pulled when I was 30. My best advice? Don't do it if you don't have to. Recovery only gets worse with age.

High-five for no cavities! I'm with you on that, sister!!

The Lazy Iguana said...

I was in my mid 20s. The doctor game me "hydrocodone" for the "pain" that I never had.

So I sold the pills to some hippies. It seemed like a good idea at the time. They gave me like 60 of the things. And then when I went for a checkup, they gave me 30 or 45 more.

And we wonder how people get addicted to drugs!

I DID take all the anti-biotics and anti-inflammatory pills. Because an oral infection can be nasty, even dangerous.

But as for the pain killers - I never needed them. Maybe I was just lucky.

At $5 a pill I also made some money :)

Avery Gray said...

Jodi--thank you, thank you! I've worked hard on building up a strong tongue. Not gonna say how. We'll just leave it at that.

Melissa--I know I should. And sweet pain meds are an awfully nice incentive. *sigh*

5 Bickies, Bec, Deb--my dentist said something about the shady spot underneath the tooth might turn into bone decay in my jaw someday. I think, 'Hey, bone decay's gotta hurt, right? Why can't I wait until it starts hurting, then go!' It's worked for me so far, but I don't want tempt fate too much longer.

Mike--you did not just call me a mutant! In all caps no less! I'm hurt. (Though you might be onto something about the wonky tooth being the source of my strength and prolificy. If it's removed, I might be just like you!)

Where's a rimshot when a girl needs one?

R--you mean I don't make you smile? :o(

Candace--thank you, my dear! You're too kind!

Yajeev--you're a riot! I'm adding you to my blogroll!

Kimberly--what would happen if one was already considered loopy, I wonder... Insanity can only be the next step.

Lazy--bad iguana! Bad! No pain meds for you! I still have vicodin in my drawer from when my sciatic nerve was pinched. I keep it in case of emergencies. You never know when that might come in handy. But not to sell the hippies. Me no like hippies.

meleah rebeccah said...

Ouch Dentists scare me...ever since the movie Little Shop of Horrors.

Hope you feel better soon!

Jennifer said...

Ew, you got the crud. So sorry. It sucks.

And I share your fear of dentists. I detest going, and I would totally be freakin' if someone used the words oral and surgery in the same sentence. I might never go back. I still have all my wisdom teeth and every time I go to the dentist he says, "Those should come out." Last time I asked, "Why?" and he said, "Well because, um, they just should." Yeah, kiss my butt and leave my teeth alone.

Chuck said...

You've been tagged

cate said...

hope your feeling better soon...that sounds really crappy! extra tooth. do you know what this means???? i'm not the only freak of nature...i have an extra vertebrae in my spine!

freaks unite! ;-)

btw, what does a syphilitic monkey act like anyway?

melody is slurping life said...

Sorry about your weird tooth...hooray for your superhuman strength tongue (use it for good, not evil).

Emma Sometimes said...

Do you get that from a Clampett gene or something?