Sunday, November 11, 2007

I'm Thankful for...Variety

As a highly slightly sarcastic individual, I am well aware of the power of emoticons. I can say THE worst thing in the world, but if it's followed by a wink, no offense will be taken. For instance, compare this:

I hate you. I wish you were dead. I slept with your brother.


with this:

I hate you. I wish you were dead. I slept with your brother. ;o)


See the difference?

I suggest using this method the next time you have to break some bad news:


Honey, I wrecked your new Mercedes. ;o)


Your biopsy revealed malignant melanoma. ;o)


I'm leaving you for a carnie. ;o)


Dad, I'm gay. ;o)


On second thought, leave the wink off that last one. It will only reinforce the gayness, which is probably not advisable under the circumstances.

***


Speaking of assaulting a man's masculinity...

Check out this picture from a New Zealand men's room:

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


I'd love to hear what the guys out there think of it.

***


We had Chinese food last night.

My Fortune Cookie told me:
Even the Amish can use letter-openers.
Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

What's your favorite Chinese dish?

29 comments:

Mike said...

As the designated guy in the room, I'd have to say that the urinal design is intriguing. The shape and placement of the urinal demands that the urine stream be focused downwards, which significantly reduces splashback, a major issue with many urinal designs. As long as guys didn't completely miss, this type of urinal could really reduce the amount of pee found on men's room floors.

Glad I could help.

newnorth said...

;o)

Avery Gray said...

Mike--way to miss the big picture there, Sparky! ;o)

Newnorth--;o)

dan leone said...

I don't know Mike, but I was thinking the same thing as you Avery...sorry Mike!

As far as the 400 pound elephant in that men's room, I think it is actually kind of gross. The reason is, as all men can relate to, the wall space is typically used for such grossness as "finger swipings" or a wayward "sprinkler system." Those women are too pretty to deface in that way.

Otherwise, I don't think the performance anxiety would be an issue.

Is this too much of an answer?

Foo said...

Like Mike, I appreciated the funneling characteristics of the urinals' design. Regarding the pictures of women offering their opinions of the peers' (peeers'?) junk, I suppose that the sense of being watched would slow the throughput of a busy men's room--especially in combination with the conspicuous lack of dividers between the urinals.

A guy likes to have his own space in which to whiz.

Dapoppins said...

no comment

QZ~Ba Doozie said...

I think there should be pictures of hot guys on the backs of the doors in womens stalls. I mean...hey...it's only fair

Kimberly said...

Yeah...I'm all with the "No fair!" theme of the last comment. Oh, and those urinals look pretty darn swanky too.

meleah rebeccah said...

I love the women on the wall....especially the expressions that make me think THEY think the men are small.

Pak Teh said...

i'm still laughing right now.. haha.
i wish i'm not the person who urinate in that room. in other side, it must be fun if we can see a reversed pic.. with a gal & lots of guys spying out. haha.

Avery Gray said...

Dan--not at all. I asked for it, didn't I? ;o)

Foo--I think whiz space is a non-gender biased request. No one needs to see that. ;o)

Dapoppins--no reply. ;o)

Doozer--totally. ;o)

Kimberly--they are pretty swanky...as urinals go. ;o)

Meleah--oh, to be a fly on THAT wall! ;o)

Pak--I don't know how I'd feel about that. I guess it would depend on which guys they chose for the pics. ;o)

holly said...

ROFLMAO (i have never said that before, but i think that's the correct thingie.)
and now i've had to go upstairs *again* to escort m1, and tell her that she may not come down every time she hears me laughing, or she may be down all night. oh. wait. maybe i should stop reading funny blogs. OR i could buy a laugh dampener.

Momo Fali said...

I think it's pretty funny that I was the only one who was actually going to reply regarding my favorite Chinese food.

Lilacspecs said...

Actually, I was going to say shrimp fried rice. Then reading all the piss pot comments made me hesitate, but thanks Momo, for inspiring me to stand tall and comment:

Shrimp Fried Rice

Bitsy Parker said...

Just not understanding about the AMish being able to use letter openers...puzzling.

Mike said...

Au contraire, Miss Gray. Penis gags are a dime a dozen, but a well-designed urinal is priceless.

Avery Gray said...

Holly--a laugh dampener? I gots to get me one of those! ;o)

Momo--don't let them intimidate you! Do tell! ;o)

Lilac--thank you! Finally! ;o)

Bitsy--what's not to get? They can, can't they? ;o)

Mike--he he! You said "penis gags"! ;o)

Mya said...

Is there a woman with a magnifying glass there? Top lav.

Favourite Chinese food would have to be Peking duck.

Thanks so much for my lovely award - mwah!

I don't do emoticons - I just offend people!

I think that just about covers it all.

Mya x

wessexcathedral@gmail.com said...

I like kung pao chicken, like everyone else. It gives me bad breath for two days.

Sheila said...

That Men's Room is hilarious!
My facorite Chinese Food is Sweet and Sour Chicken - I know, boring! :o)

Avery Gray said...

Mya--yep, there sure is. Never had Peking Duck. You're welcome. And you really should, people will like you better. ;o)

R--Kung Pao Chicken is on my faves list, too! ;o)

Sheila--not boring at all! It's my hubby's #1, and always a good bet when ordering for lots of people. Who doesn't like Sweet and Sour?! ;o)

Mrs. Furious said...

lol... yes I too put that little wink to good use.

came over from Deb's place.

cate said...

i love sarcasm...i live for sarcasm...i'd die without sarcasm...i AM sarcasm!

if it weren't for emoticons, i don't know what i would do....my emails and comments would most certainly be taken the wrong way on a regular basis! ;-)

Jennifer said...

Yes, I really heavily on emoticons, being a bit sarcastic myself. Plus, I love to tease my really good friends mercilessly. It's a good way to weed out the weak minded. Only the strong survive, ya know?

Avery, you suck! ;-)

LOVE that bathroom wall! lol

christina said...

yes, i say god bless the emoticon for conveying our emotions with such clarity and wit!
about the urinal... i dont think i would care one bit if fake women were making weird faces were watching me pee... but i dont have a penis so...

Nap Warden said...

Is that bathroom for real? Too funny;0)

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

I'd never be able to pee. I'd have to find a bush outside!

dawn224 said...

can you imagine if they had the same kind of thing in our stalls with men? No one would ever be able to pee!

Jo Beaufoix said...

I do emoticons too.
Oo that sounds a bit rude.
I don't, you know, do them.
I ust do them.

And I love the mens room. Fantastic.

Oh, and vegetables in szechuan sauce. Yum.