(Of course, if you're one of the people who found me by using any of the following keywords or phrases, know that I mean that in the nicest possible way.)
In no particular order, here are some of the doozies:
Avery Gray--WTF, right? You're searching for me on Google using my name?! How disgusting!
Avery Grey--Oh, now you're just bustin' my balls! Taking the spelling and Britting it up. Think you're so clever, Ms. I'm So Clever? 'Cause I got news for you--you're not. Ooooo!!
Okay, seriously though...
Chunky highlights--I'm assuming this is due solely to my post by that name, and not a commentary on how I would look in...
Leggings to heel, legging with heel straps, legging with strap heels--Ooookkaaaayyy. When did I become the authority on fashion crimes of decades past? Apparently I'm a veritable bastion of bad taste. Case in point...
Gold lame scrunchies--Not just scrunchies. No! Shiny gold ones. Even better. Why, I like to wear them to the discotech with my sparkly fuschia leg warmers and an assortment of plastic Swatch watches (with the face guard, of course. You can never be too careful where your Swatch is concerned.)
Baby craps a lot--Um, yeah, that sounds serious. Maybe a visit to the pediatrician would be in order? Or just stop giving the kid Lemon Pledge. Trust me, it doesn't make their poop smell any better.
Nice set of knockers--Wow! Thanks for noticing.
Urinal emoticon--Yeeaaahh. Pretty sure it had something to do with this.
Squirrel hit tire--Thank you!! Finally someone who sees it from my point of view! Damn squirrel getting my tire all dirty with his sloppy entrails. Rude!
Schoolgirl punishments--Keep movin', One Hand McGraw. This ain't that kinda site.
Japan "high school" diapers--Uh...
Well, I don't know anything about Japan "high school" diapers, whatever those may be, but there is one kind of diaper that I am apparently quite well-versed in.
That's right, baby! I am the #1 Google authori-tay on....Ham Diapers!
And also, though slightly less significant, David Soul's pleasure den.
Yep, I've hit the big time now!