Saturday, December 15, 2007

Tell Me When It's Over

Today was Ethan's school Christmas program.

That's right. Christmas. Not Holiday. Not Winter Solstice. Christmas.

Put that in your non-denominational pipe and smoke it!

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His school is owned by a couple from South Africa, and they could give a rat's patootie about being politically correct. They're cantankerous old people, and I love them for it!

Now, the show itself was just a bunch of generic Christmas carols sung by adorable little children...

And my son.

Don't get me wrong. My son was the cutest one there. (That may be a biased statement.) But he was also regrettably unfocused on the task at hand.

As soon as his class filed onstage, the spectacle that is Ethan began.

While the rest of his class stood quietly awaiting their cue, Ethan was waving at the crowd and saying, repeatedly, "Hi!"

Then, "Hi, my name's Spaghetti!"

Somewhere in the middle of the song, Ethan stepped to the front of the stage and proudly announced, "I like Krabby Patties!"

This, of course, garnered plenty of laughs from the audience. Almost as much as his request for a microphone. And his subsequent dancing.

My husband was mortified.

Not me. He's my little ham! I've come to expect these things from him.

Regardless, my husband has requested that I "work with him on this." And like a good wife, I promised that I would.

I won't, but what a good wife I am for putting his mind at ease, huh?


In other news...

A commenter on my Buzz page said: "I imagine your voice sounds like the lady's voice on NPR's Splendid Table...very classy and elegant."

Well, Scott, I thank you for the compliment. I'm not sure what she sounds like, but I don't think my voice is very remarkable in any way. I admit, I've never really thought all that much about who I sound like, and if I could figure out a way to hook our video camera to our computer, I'd just film myself and post it here to assuage your curiosity.

I asked my husband about it, and he said I sort of sound like someone on NPR. Then he asked me what NPR is, so he obviously doesn't know what he's talking about.

I guess the bottom line is, regardless of what my voice sounds like, "classy and elegant" I ain't.



Mmmm... Schweatty balls...

19 comments:

Sheila said...

OMG, that clip is cracking me up! Without knowing what you actually sound like, I bet you could so pull off that radio voice!

Kimberly said...

I don't blame you for not wanting to work with Ethan on that...what a darling!

holly said...

oh i really love that kid of yours. you *should* work with him. with a fine-tuned stage act, you could take him on the road! wait, that's probably not what your hubby means...

melissagarrett said...

WOOT! What a funny story about Ethan! I *love* it when children act silly at performances. ;-)

M@ said...

As Steven Colbert says, "Christmas is the time of year when you give people hell for wishing you 'happy holidays!'"

dawn224 said...

I heart Pete Schweaty!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Ethan is cool, and I love that he just enjoys it. And the schweaty balls sound yummy. :D

Momo Fali said...

My MOST FAVORITE SNL skit EVER! I would love to post this on my blog. But, I doubt my Mother-in-law would approve.

Two Write Hands said...

You know that everyone would be bored out of their minds if it wasn't for your kid. I say, encourage him! :)

Dan Leone said...

At least you don't sound like Alec Baldwin! That would be weird.

Ethan is a doll...and clearly takes after you!

Rima said...

Good for Ethan for livening up the old Christmas show!

Mrs. Fussy Fussypants said...

Pete Schweaty- My Favorite!

Doozie said...

Hmmmm...the Christmas program. I have endured my Boy pretending to pull out his eyeball and eat it, amongst other antics. I have up long ago feeling embarrassed, I like how you roll with it!

WorksForMom said...

I can't quite decide if I puffy heart you more for your Christmas thoughts or for your schweatty balls SNL kit. TIE!

loveyh said...

Tell The incomearner to lighten up--it wasn't Broadway.

I am hurt, however, that I was not invited to the child's renaming ceremony. Did you make him Spaghetti X at least?

meleah rebeccah said...

Karbby Patties and Alec Baldwin in one post... you are my hero.


Ps.....Your son is ADORABLE and Alec is my future husband.

TheVasquez3 said...

LOVE it...girl you are quickly becoming my new fav blogger. i am soaking up your bloggy goodness! love love love the way you write. i sweat i could heat up a hot pocket, pour myself a diet pepsi and sit here reading your blog all the while pretending i am at a fun dinner party, instead of aparty for one!

keep posting...i am 100% picking up what you are laying down here!

Joeprah said...

Kid needs to be encouraged not discouraged, or rather focused I should say, use his gift to entertain correctly, get him into acting if that is what floats his boat. Peace and holla!

monkeysandmarbles said...

oh man, that's what makes those school events so much fun...when it doesn't go exactly as planned. and to have it be your son who took off with it and made it his own...you should be so proud! :)

as for the schwetty balls...i never get tired of that skit!