Friday, December 7, 2007

Uh-oh! Hot Dog!

I don't know about you, but I am having a fantastic time reading all your entries for the contest. And it's pretty obvious to me that even the people who think they know me the best don't know diddly squat. (Let that be a hint!)

There are obvious front runners--numbers 1 and 2 are virtually neck and neck with 14 and 15 votes respectively. But it ain't over yet. You have until Sunday to get your votes in, so lurkers delurk and try your hand. You could win a fabulous prize! Not to mention the coveted award that goes along with playing. What have you got to lose? (Well, besides your anonymity, of course.)

On to things not so fabulous, yesterday was a hellish day. I had a migraine brought on by neck pain from sleeping in a weird position. I couldn't help it. My hubby is a cuddly sleeper, and I am not. I don't like to be touched when I'm sleeping, and this is exactly the reason why. I like to sleep on my stomach, not my side, and not curled up next to a blast furnace.

Some women think it's endearing for a man to like to cuddle in his sleep. So did I...for the first week. Now it's only endearing during waking hours, like when we're snuggled up watching 30 Rock on the couch, which we did last night. That was nice.

(Psst...I think he's got a thing for Tina Fey. Don't tell him I told you that.)

Yesterday would have been the perfect time to send Ethan to school. Unfortunately, he doesn't have school on Thursdays, so the game of the day was "Let's Not Give Mommy A Moment's Peace."

Fun game. Ever played it? They have a version out for dads as well.

Hiding my head under a blanket didn't fool him in the least. He crowed like a rooster and told me to get up and fix me his damn waffles.

Okay, he didn't say that. He said, "Fix me my damn waffles PLEASE."

Alright, I'm lying again. It was pancakes.

Anyhow, at some point in the never-ending torture day, he pulled out his rhyming puzzles, and went to town.

"Top rhymes with mop."

"Bear rhymes with pear."

"Shoe rhymes with glue."


I thought I'd be clever and ask him one he didn't have the answer already memorized. "Ethan, what rhymes with snake?"

To be fair, he had a picture of a rake and a lake there, so it's not like he couldn't have deduced it. Instead he said, "I don't know. Larry?"

Larry?

Larry rhymes with snake?!!


"No. But who is Larry?"

He looked at me like I was the biggest embarrassment to humankind to ever walk the face of the earth. And that includes David Hasselhoff.

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He shook his head pityingly and said, "He's the birthday hot dog."

Oh. Duh.

The birthday hot dog.

Oh, right. Larry! Of course. Where was my head?

(Is it wrong that my son reminds me a little of Bae Sung?)

18 comments:

missburrows said...

Gheez, Avery...you don't know about Larry the birthday hot dog? I hear he has real nice buns. (ha ha ha ha ha)

I posted about pancakes too!

The Lazy Iguana said...

See I am evil. I would have said "Ill make you waffles when you can tell me what rhymes with orange. Pick your answer wisely, for if you are wrong then no more waffles EVER! Ill sell the waffle maker to a homeless guy and that will be all there is to it."

Would that be too evil? I don't think so.

This is why cats are better than kids. When I want to sleep in and the cats want me to feed them, I squirt the cats using the spray bottle I always have within reach. GO AWAY! Ill feed you when I wake up. In 4 hours.

Kimberly said...

How can take a yucky day and turn it into something laugh out loud funny, I will just never understand. Oi!

Emma Sometimes said...

I so want to attack David's picture with Nair, or a razor. Something.

Jill said...

There are so many things I want to say-but that picture of The 'Hoff is a little distracting. (And NOT in a good way!)

Deb said...

Blast furnace!! LOL!! That's what I call MY husband! And my son, come to think of it. What's worse, both of them are cuddlers. Drives me crazy. STOP TOUCHING ME!!!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh my God.. The hoff is soooo scary. Ethan. Hope your head is better. And Ethan is so funny.

holly said...

i feel i need to help with some explanations. i am a rhyming expert, you see. and the cardinal rule is that "larry" rhymes with everything. just watch:

oh how i'd love to suck an orange
just like my neighbour larry.

perfect rhyme, yes? do you see?

i hope i've helped.

Terri said...

I had to read out loud to my husband the paragraph about why snuggly sleeping isn't appealing to me. He had just questioned me as to why I turned on my side of the electric blanket when I could have just snuggled up. 19 years of having this same conversation and he's still questioning me! You are my last hope!

OMG, though, the Medium spoof was hilarious! I used to love Medium!

Doozie said...

I'm an advocate for twin beds or seperate bedrooms in all marriages beyond one week. I can't sleep with other humans in my room.

Guess what? i'm going to click on that link and find out what the contest is. I'm always up for a fantastic slapaliscious prize

Doozie said...

make sure you read my response, I see you had a large number of responders. I think I should go into the prize pool based simply off the fact that I hardly know you at all and I braved this contest..huh? mmm?????

suchsimplepleasures said...

i HATE anyone, anything...being near me when i'm sleeping. btw...i've had a killer headache today...i think my chiropractor, while trying to unpinch my nerve...tried to kill me but, that's another story!
funny post. i'm going to go guess which one isn't the truth...see ya down at the other post...

Sheila said...

Oooh, I so do not want to be touched when I am sleeping or trying to sleep!! Drives my husband crazy because he wants to cuddle. After nearly 18 years, he has learned to comply!

meleah rebeccah said...

I cant stand being touched when sleeping either.

Also, I cannot share covers. I have to have my OWN covers.

(migraines are the worst! glad you are feeling better)

Avery Gray said...

Miss Burrows--he must have slipped my mind! Of course I remember him! What would a birthday be without Larry?

Lazy--I'm gonna try that next time Ethan gets all up in my grill early in the morning. Thanks for the great idea!

Kimberly--if I didn't laugh, I'd cry! ;o)

Emma--Don't hassle the Hoff!

Jill--not in a good way. A great way!

Deb--amen!

Jo--the Hoff IS scary. Scary sexy, right?!

Holly--thank you for clearing that up for me! I was under the mistaken impression that nothing rhymed with orange. Oh, how wrong I was! Thank you, rhyme guru!

Terri--my work here is done! (Hope I was of some assistance!)

Doozie--twin beds worked for the Flintstones, too. Unfortunately, I have one of those overbearing type hubbies who believe that a man and a woman are supposed to sleep in the same bed once they're married. Where he got that idea from, I have no clue!

Simple--I'm sorry you're not feeling well! Winning a prize might make you feel better. Good luck!

Sheila--glad your hubby has learned to comply! Tell me how you accomplished that!!

Meleah--hubby is a blanket hog, too! But that's usually okay. I don't like a lot of covers on me when I sleep. And we have the ceiling fan on year-round, too. I can't sleep when it's too warm. Weird, huh?

dawn224 said...

OMG, last night the baby, the husband and the cat all decided to sleep on my side of the bed. And then hubs snored. Sigh.

Tiffany said...

HAHA I just started reading your blog and I'm so glad to see someone else who doesn't wanna snuggle in bed with their husband. Dammit you get on your side and let me sleep in peace. LOL. Finally someone who understands me or are we both just a couple of weirdo's. LOL

Joeprah said...

Larry? LMAO! I went to observe my kids in school for American Ed. week and in my oldest daughters 2nd grade class the teacher asked what the antonym of Vanilla Cake was ( I know that is a little ambiguous) and this one boy excitedly raised his hand and said, "12 pretzels." WTFudge? LOL! Kids rule.