Saturday, January 19, 2008

100 Things About Me

1) My pen name is Avery Gray.

2) Besides this blog, you've probably never read anything by me.

3) I was born in Oregon.

4) I turned 30 last year.

5) I'm 3/4 German, 1/8 Russian, and 1/8 Scottish.

6) I'm told I look Greek.

7) I'm 5'8".

8) I have brown hair.

9) I have blue eyes.

10) I am the youngest of six children.

11) I have 16 nieces and nephews.

12) I'm addicted to Diet Coke Plus.

13) I hate coffee.

14) I've never tried alcohol.

15) I have a son who will be five at the end of this month.

16) I've been married six and a half years.

17) I thought my husband was an ass the first time I met him.

18) I was right.

19) I love him anyway.

20) My first car was an '89 Dodge Colt hatchback.

21) My wedding ring cost exactly fifteen times what I paid for the car.

22) My husband is my best friend.

23) I married well.

24) I'm a halfway decent cook.

25) I'm a horrible housekeeper.

26) I have a nearly photographic memory when it comes to numbers.

27) I only type 41 WPM.

28) I sometimes cheat and look at the keyboard.

29) I can't stand the smell of patchouli.

30) I should own stock in Bath and Body Works.

31) I love bubble baths.

32) I get regular pedicures.

33) My favorite toenail polish color is OPI's "Mauving to Manitoba".

34) I've never had a professional massage.

35) I drink a gallon of water every day.

36) I like the taste of Pepto Bismol.

37) I miss the smell of leaded gas.

38) I think bunnies are soft.

39) I'm a terrible public speaker.

40) I'm naturally quiet.

41) I can get loud.

42) I love to sing.

43) I'm a terrible singer.

44) I'm a terrible dancer.

45) I dance to amuse people.

46) I'm funny.

47) I'm sweet.

48) I make friends easily.

49) I hate to disappoint people.

50) I'm not afraid to stand up for myself.

51) I've never had a cavity.

52) I've never broken a bone.

53) I have 20/15 vision.

54) If I were a horse, I'd be worth a lot of money.

55) I've never wanted a horse.

56) I did want a unicorn.

57) I never got one.

58) I did have a chicken.

59) I hated that chicken.

60) I love to eat chicken.

61) My favorite food is a tomato with salt.

62) My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip.

63) I don't have a favorite color.

64) I do have a favorite palette: fall in wine country.

65) My home decor is inspired by Old World/Tuscan vineyards.

66) I've never been to Tuscany.

67) I have been to a vineyard.

68) I drank grape juice.

69) I know how to use chopsticks.

70) I know how to crochet.

71) I'm quite proficient at counted cross stitch.

72) My sewing machine is a Husqvarna.

73) I can drive a stick shift, but not very well.

74) I barely passed my driving test at 16.

75) I was in gymnastics for a couple of years.

76) I can't balance to save my life.

77) I can touch my toes.

78) I can't sleep unless I read first.

79) I average 15 books a month.

80) I'm a very hard reader to impress.

81) I scored a 1430 on my SATs.

82) I'm intimidated by smart people.

83) I'm often at a loss for words.

84) I'm a visual learner.

85) I'm more creative than analytical.

86) I'm right-handed.

87) I'm fascinated by medical oddities.

88) I'm not squeamish.

89) I love "Man vs. Wild".

90) I think Bear Grylls is the sexiest man alive.

91) I love camping.

92) I have never built my own shelter.

93) I love funny movies.

94) I'm a sucker for romance.

95) I like long walks on the beach.

96) I enjoy searching tide pools more.

97) I'm fascinated by history.

98) I know how to play chess.

99) My worst game is Risk.

100) I'm not cut out for world domination.


Gwynne said...

Wow, you're a healthy one! No broken bones, cavities, or alcohol induced hangovers. Not ever?! I think you deserved the unicorn.

Please expand on #54.

Groovy Mom said...

You DO look Greek. Terrible singer? I have some choice singing posted on my blog right now. Bound to make you feel like Whitney Houston. And Would you kiss Bear Grylls after he drank some water out of elephant dung? Good breath is a priority for me. I don't think I'll be kissing Bear. You can have him.

M@ said...

You're younger than me!? WTF? I am getting old if married and children people are younger than me. Jesus. I'm a looser.

How come you never even TRIED alcohol? Not curious in the least? Have you ever tripped on mushrooms, at least?

Scottish? Just saw a trailer for a movie where a mob of Africans is about to kill a white "British man."

He says, "I'm Scottish!"

Smiles break out and they pat him on the back and let him go... :)

suchsimplepleasures said...

can i tell you that...i think we'd be friends in real life...seriously...waaaaaaaaaaaay too much in common!! i mean......waaaaaaay too much...except...i'm trying so hard to teach myself how to crochet...and because i am a knitter...i can't figure out how to hold the yarn or where to stick the needle in, after i make the beginning chain thing!!! but, seriously...dude...waaaaaaay too much in common...or, did i already say that?!

holly said...

lies i have uncovered today:
2) not true. i read your "my life as an oregonian", published by simon and schuster, just yesterday. cost me a £5. was a bit weird, a *little* too much sex for me.
3) my sources say you've never even *been* to oregon. you're not there now.
4) right. you're old enough to be 30. sure. (shit i'm old)
5) those numbers don't add up to *exactly* 1.
7) that's not what the book said. it said 5'7.5"
11) 5 is not evenly divisible by 16.

actually, the rest are true. but *those* ^ were false.

other points i want to make:

what the hell is patchouli. nevermind, i'll google it.

by the way, i type almost exactly twice as fast as you but i *refuse* to rub that in.
and sometimes *i* cheat by looking at other *people* as i type.

this was lovable.

Mike said...

You think bunnies are soft? Goddamn, you are a freak show.

Misssy M said...

What the hell do you mean you have never built your own shelter????

Right! that's it. Someone fetch my coat! I'm off!

Natalie said...

This was so much fun (as I sit here typing about 90 wpm) :P Hey, I took typing in the eighth grade, I've had a lot of time to get that good.

I also don't like Patchouli, have had no cavities (knock on wood) and have never paid for a massage. I have had an impromptu shoulder massage from a friend who does them as a living, but I cannot stand them. Is that why you haven't had one?

I'm older than you and I can't recall the smell of leaded gas? What did it smell like?

Marianne Arkins said...

I can't tell you how impressed I am that you thought of 100 things.


And, I can't remember the smell of leaded gas. I wonder why... maybe it's all that Patchouli.

terri said...

You are often at a loss for words? I think you made that up! ;-)

mielikki said...

I am SOOOOO with you on the Patchouli thing. I gag every time one of the patchouli hippies that lives in my town walks past me.
Surprisingly, many of your items would make my list, as well. I can knit, and crochet, do not pay for massages, and I can spend hours in a good tide pool. . .

Avery Gray said...

Gwynne--well, that's basically what I meant with #54. Aren't those the things buyers look for in a horse? ;o)

Groovy--well, I might not kiss him right after he drank skank water, but after a shower and a good toothbrushing, then heck yeah! He's yummy.

M@--should I be offended that you thought I was older? ;o) And, about the alcohol--I was significantly affected by the actions of an alcoholic in my family, and I chose never to go down that road. I have no desire to. No 'shrooms either. I'm as pure as the driven snow. Mostly... ;o)

Simple--we'll get together, I'll teach you to crochet, you'll teach me to knit. We'll make beautiful doilies together!

Holly--I can explain everything! I said you'd PROBABLY never read it (there were only 100 copies made. I'm surprised you found one! But you paid WAY too much.) The sex was in no way gratuitous, you're just prudish. I'm not in Oregon now, but that's not what I said. I am old enough to be thirty, and I will cut my finger off so you can count the rings. Yes, they do. I had a hunch back then; it cleared up. I think one might be a neighbor kid, but I can't be sure.

Mike--you cut me to the quick right there.

Misssy--are we going camping? Weee!!

Natalie--it smelled a little like I imagine Heaven might smell. Kinda like a Sharpie. And, yeah, I think I might be uncomfortable having a stranger touch me like that. It's weird.

Marianne--thank you! And, yes, that will do it!

Terri--uh... I am not!

Mielikki--see? Choconots and frenemies are not so different after all!

Thalia's Child said...

#90. Hmm. I may need to watch that show!

kaylee said...

I wish I could admit too number 52 but, I have broken 9bones already in my 16 years of life. :(

Oh, The Joys said...

I hate patchouli too, but LOVE coffee. Need coffee.

Never tasted the drink. Genius. Really.

Doozie said...

I think we are twins...maybe

I have a
Husqvarna chain saw

I can't wait to meet you!!!

The Lazy Iguana said...

You should try shrooms. At least. Or at least light up. I hear you can get some good stuff in the Pacific Northwest. Lots of people who take baths yet claim to be "hippies" there. People who take regular baths with actual soap and wash their hair and claim be be "hippies" know where to get the really REALLY good stuff at. The kind of icky sticky that if you handle too much leaves a sticky film on your fingers.

My first car was a 1989 Dodge Daytona, hatchback 5 speed.

Patchouli combined with arm pit funk smells like hippies, I hate that stuff too. Scabies infested never taken a bath bad weed smoking conch shell blowing drum circle participating moochers.

Let a hippie in your car and it takes months to get the stench out.

I just hit 34 recently.

Caffeine Court said...

Very, very interesting.

Maybe I would have scored higher on my SATs if I never tried alcohol. I think I was hungover when I took them! As a matter of fact I was probably still drunk from some keg party the night before!

I'm so glad I got all that partying out of my system before I was old enough to get into a bar!

Mya said...

My mum has a Husqvarna sewing machine too. I have a Husqvarna chainsaw.
Fascinating stuff. I HATE the game of Risk...bores the tits off me. I think you should get drunk at least once - I'm sure you'd be a riot!

Mya x

R said...

I don't know how to play chess, and I hate Risk.

I thought this was funny.

meleah rebeccah said...

awesome list.

I cant get over NO ALCOHOL?

I don't know what a liquor-less life would even be like!

monkeysandmarbles said...

wow...your list is SO much more interesting than mine! ;-)

Kimberly said...

Yup. I officially adore you.

Is that sweet or creepy?

Regan Blair said...

I don't even know what Patchouli is. I scare myself.

Huckdoll said...

I've always been facinated by these 100 Things lists...I could never come up with a HUNDRED things about me without it getting odd. Love your new digs. Props.

Christine Vyrnon said...

#78 and #80 caught my eye and am in agreeance (is that a word?)

Great list.

Joeprah said...

I too am an ass, I will crush you in Chess and Risk. I have 20/5 vision. I can almost see through things. I am funny. I have great one-liners and a severe case of incurable hotness. And Avery Gray is my friend. Cool list!