Monday, January 7, 2008

Is this wrong?

Everything is wearing on me today.

I tell myself to relax. To calm down. That things aren't so bad. Never so bad that I can't handle it. And I go for a walk and breathe deeply and feel almost okay.

And then I open the door.

Good Lord! What happened in here?!

And then I remember. I have a goddamn five-year-old!

Precious, angelic, love of my life five-year-old, yes. But goddamn all the same.

Hours I spent yesterday cleaning this house. Hours I spent scrubbing, dusting, vacuuming, organizing. And today?

Oy.

Was yesterday a dream? I can't think of any other explanation. How else could one small child create the utter devastation I see before me?

So, I do what any sane person would do. I retreat to the mind-numbing haven of the interweb. I find sweet salvation in the inane.

I find this...

13


And I feel better.

Oh, internet, you've done it again!

16 comments:

Huckdoll said...

That's a lot of 5 year olds! Jeez. I'd be trampled and beaten. I don't think I'd even try to fight back - just assume fetal position and pray.

You're not alone in the wondering if it was a dream. With two year old twin girls, nothing stays tidy for long. I look back at pictures of my house pre-twins and I'm amazed at how gorgeous everything looks. Fresh flowers, spotless carpets and shining glass. *Sigh*

But one day, far down the road, I bet we'll look at our empty, spotless houses and yearn for our kiddos and the chaos.

holly said...

i have one 8.5 year old and one 2.5 year old. why must the 8.5 year old leave her clothes wherever she disrobes? how MANY hampers do i have to buy and leave all over the house? flip, we've even got one in the kitchen now.! we're just hours away from having a laundry drop-spot in the potty!

and there are emergency toy tubs dotted all around our house. STILL THE TOYS ARE EVERYWHERE. when i find the person buying them all this crap.... oh, wait. crap.

perhaps i'm approaching this the wrong way. i do that a lot.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh my Gaaaaaaaaaaawd Avery. I have the almost 3 year old and almost 7.5 year old mess monsters. I just don't tidy now, and the house looks no different as they mess it up so quick you can't blink if you want to see clean.
Bugger.

Amy Turn Sharp said...

I also feel yr pain
it is like groundhog day each day with clean/mess
I sometimes give up and join in
I throw food directly at the washed floor
just to hear myself laugh like the crazy woman I am :)

Lilacspecs said...

I haven't ever felt the pain of the role of domestic goddess, till I moved in with a man. He does work all day, yes, while I go to class, come home, do the dishes, do the laundry, do any random chores that were left undone the day before. It sucks picking up after myself, let alone someone else.

Avery Gray said...

Huckdoll--two-year-old twins?! Good Lord, woman. How do you even manage to get out of bed in the morning?! My hat's off to you!

Holly--you're enabling. Stop buying hampers! She's almost 9, for goodness sake, and last I heard, the Queen's legs were not broken. (This is called tough mommy love. ;o) )

Jo--I generally embrace that mantra myself. But sometimes I like to remind myself what it's like to have a nice, clean house. More fool I.

Amy--I can just imagine your maniacal cackle! Bet you have a good one. Mine needs work.

Lilac--yeah, I thought it was bad when it was just the two of us, too. If only I'd known... If only I'd known...

clairec23 said...

Three year old and a ten month old. I'm hiding from my living room as we speak (write...whatever) :D

Natalie said...

Imagine having all of that crap in a tiny one bedroom apartment. It's taken a lot of patience, but my son is learning that if he wants to play with something, he darn well better pick it up when he's done. I am not below threats (do you ever want to see that toy again?). A clean house is not the most important thing in the world, but it's important to my sanity. Mostly because of the space issue. I wasn't so umm, freakish about it in our large three bedroom apartment.

Rima said...

I totally feel your pain, sistah.

But I think you could take on sixteen, maybe even SEVENTEEN five year olds, hands down ;)

Avery Gray said...

Claire--I can't hide from the mess. It follows me!

Natalie--when space is at a premium like that, I totally understand how important it is to keep it clean. I learned that in my first apartment. Can't imagine living there with a child. My heart goes out to you!

Rima--I don't know. They're pretty wiry. And if they swarm you, they're like a bunch of piranha. Lots of little teeth.

Bec said...

You mean, the whole cleaning with a kid jag doesn't get easier?

No! Don't tell me that!

Mya said...

I reckon I could take a few 5 year olds in a fight - as long as they hadn't been eating bananas beforehand. But I'm not sure I could defeat THIRTEEN! Go Avery.

Mess? Do what I do. Kick it under the sofas.

Mya x

terri said...

Heh - just wait until he's 14, 16.... 18. My house was cleaner when they were little. Of course, I actually spent more time there back then. Could be that's my problem. Could be I stopped caring a while ago.

Immoral Matriarch said...

That's a lot of kids!
I'm not ready for a 5 year old. My babies are growing too quickly. :(

Meleah Rebeccah said...

and thats why I am grateful to have an 11 year old......Those days are long since over for me. whew!

were moving into the *eye roll* phase.... Fun Fun Fun....NOT!!

Stephen said...

Dang, you're one strong woman. Remind me not to piss you off. :)