Sunday, January 20, 2008

Say What?!!

Recent conversation with my four-(going on eighteen)-year-old:


Me: Hey, buddy! How was school?

Him: Good.

Me: What did you do?

Him: Played with my girlfriend, Princess Darrien. I love her so much.

Me: You do? That's nice. What do you love about her?

Him: Well, she has a jacket, and I have a jacket...

Me: Sounds like you two have a lot in common.

Him: Yeah. We're going out on a date.

Me: Uh, what?

Him: We're going on a date to McDonald's.

Me (laughing): You are?

Him: I'm going to get Darrien chicken nuggets and fries and a drink. And I'm going to get chicken nuggets and fries and a drink.

Me: Yeah?

Him: I'm going to order a napkin for Darrien. I'm going to pay.

Me: Well, that is very nice of you.

Him: Yeah. And then I'll take her home.

Me: And walk her to the door like a gentleman?

Him: Yeah, and then I'll take her to Mommy and Daddy's room and kiss her on the bed.

Me (no longer laughing): WHAT?!!

Him: And I'll give a beautiful white glass heart bracelet to the lovely Darrien.

Me: Sweetie, you can give Darrien a bracelet, but kissing is for mommies and daddies.

Him: Yeah, I can kiss her. At night I can kiss her on the bed.

Me (making mental note to lock bedroom door from now on): No, Ethan. You can hug your friends, but we don't kiss our friends.

Him (to himself): Yeah, I will lay down and kiss her on the nose. And she can kiss my--

Me: You're grounded. Forever.

20 comments:

Edge said...

This kid has more of an idea of how a date should go than I did at 18.

~Jef

terri said...

You're in T-R-O-U-B-L-E! Hehehe... Good luck!

Feener said...

priceless

M@ said...

I love when people come up with PLANS!

loveyh said...

Awww...he's so cute!





keep him away from my little girl.

Karen said...

Ug...and I thought my middle schooler was starting early!!

holly said...

it begins....

i once had a date like this, though. i was 20. the mcdonalds part was the best bit, unfortunately.

R said...

Sounds like my little boyfriend in the first grade.

Queen of Shake-Shake said...

In Kindergarten, Payton and his little girlfriend mapped out their wedding right with the teacher in front of them.

Mike said...

I'd slip that boy a condom.

meleah rebeccah said...

Precious. Absolutely adorable.

monkeysandmarbles said...

i started out laughing while reading this....then i remembered that i have two boys and this will probably happen with one of them in the next two or three years...so i stopped laughing.

who am i kidding, this is freakin' hilarious! ;-)

Sugarplum's Mom said...

They start so early these days...

Dapoppins said...

Remind me to keep that boy outta my daughter's room.

Kimberly said...

I just laughed so hard it -hurt-. As in lots.

So sorry!

Bec said...

Oh my...you're in so much trouble! lol but what a cutie! He's going to get her a napkin...aaawwwww :)

Gwynne said...

Maybe Darrien is a puppy. ;-)

But lock the door anyway, just to be safe.

Caffeine Court said...

Hey-he bought her chicken nuggets, he deserves a little nukkie!

Huckdoll said...

Too funny! Looks like you've got a little Casanova on your hands.

Avery Gray said...

Jef--well, that's a little sad. For both of us.

Terri--thanks!

Feener--says you.

M@--I'm sure the two of you would get along real well.

Lovey--no problem. He likes the older ladies.

Karen--I don't even want to think about what he'll be like in middle school!

Holly--that makes me sad for you.

R--so, there is hope for him then?

Heather--how close were they to being right? *gulp*

Mike--little early, don't ya think? I really hope they don't make condoms in his size.

Meleah--suuuuuure!

Cate--keep laughing! Your turn's a-comin'!

Sugarplum--*sigh*

Dapo--hey! He's a one woman guy!

Kimberly--thanks!

Bec--nothing if not a gentleman. Er, or is it gigolo?

Gwynne--Darrien's not a puppy. She's an adorable little girl, and she loves Ethan, too. It's so cute to see them together.

Jill--that explains so much about you! ;o)

Huck--ugh.