Thursday, February 28, 2008

Call Off the Hounds

I'm not dead. Though I appreciate every one of you who e-mailed expressing concern.

Believe me, if I were dead, you'd be the first to know, because I am sure the high speed connection in Heaven is nothing short of divine.

Assuming, of course, that's the direction I'm headed. I hope it's not the other way. I hear the Devil has dial-up.


No, I've been busy with the business of life, if you can imagine that. (It's what goes on outside the internets. I had to look it up.)

I've returned to the land of the living only to deal with the ghouls at the DOL (that's DMV to the rest of known civilization), the zombie who is my tax accountant (the one who writes bo-ring romance novels), and an "emotional vampire" in the guise of a friend. (That's the name Lovey gave her, and I gotta say, it's quite perfect.)

But last night, Lovey and I actually got to take in a pre-screening of a movie we've both been anxious to see, The Other Boleyn Girl.

We each read the Phillipa Gregory novel that the movie is based on, and loved it.

The movie was a very much condensed and glossed over version of the book, but it's hard to cram 672 pages of lust, greed, and political intrigue into two hours. Still, it was an admirable effort. Natalie Portman was the perfect choice to play the conniving, ill-fated Anne Boleyn. I was less impressed with Scarlett Johansson as her sister, Mary, but her performance was fine. Eric Bana was much yummier than the real Henry VIII would have been--at least after he became gouty and bloated toward the end of Anne's life. (That was not portrayed in the film.)

Some significant historical facts were not even alluded to, like the fate of Mary's first husband, William Carey, and the fact that she bore the king a daughter as well as a son. But there was plenty of drama besides. Enough to keep us entertained throughout, so I give it two stubby thumbs up.

In other news, I have determined that coughing is the best abdominal workout ever, and thus I have not failed the Fit Friends through my much maligned bout with pneumonia. I'm still coughing some, though not nearly as much as I had been, so I suppose it no longer counts as an excuse, but I have to say I have given it 110% lo these past couple of weeks, and now I have a toned, sexy, pasty core.

Okay, I don't. It doesn't look any different. But I bet it could crush a Buick if it could evolve prehensilly. Now THAT would be something to see!


Natalie said...

YAY! She's back. I count coughing as exercise, too.

I've been watching the first season of "The Tudors", DirectTV is showing it on their DirectTV channel, and I'm suddenly intrigued with that whole story. Is the book based on historical fact or is it fictional like "The Tudors"?

Glad you are feeling better.

Edge said...

Ahhh ya the Queen of Naboo is in that movie. I wonder if her nipples get hard in that movie like they did in Episode II?


Groovy Mom said...

I want to see that movie too.

Prehensile abs? I bet guys would love that!

The Immoral Matriarch said...

I wanna see it!!!!!!

And - there's no better Henry than Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. Do you watch The Tudors?

Daryl E said...

Glad to hear you are still alive and blogging .. cool about seeing the advance screening .. I will put it on the NetFlix queue .. I am not a fan of books made into movies .. never do them justice...

The best Henry VIII was Keith Michell in PBS' Six Wives of Henry VIII

GoneBackSouth said...

Glad you're back, and glad to be back in e-land myself. And that *shudder* really did make me shudder, by the way!!!

Karen C. said...

I've been wanting to see that movie!! Thanks for the review! Oh, and glad you're not dead.

meleah rebeccah said...

I cannot wait to see that movie

Mike said...

Movie schmovie, where's my Avery-plays-Guitar-Hero video?

MamaGeek said...

OOOOoooh I want to see that. So you actually escaped to the real world? Wow, I gotta try that.

CamiKaos said...

I was kind of looking forward to seeing that movie... But now that I know there's a book... I can't wait to read it. Woo hoo... Oh and the super ab work out known as major coughing... I'm doing that workout too. Except that my doctor doesn't seem to like it so he gave me super meds to make it stop while I'm out cold.

I'm really glad you're feeling better

Doozie said...

uh.....yeah.....I think I'm going to see the Jackie moon movie this weekend, it's my speed

Nan said...

*shudder!* When last I was at Regional Corporation(which is where I'm going if I am really bad), their lines were down completely. Not even dial-up.

lilacspecs said...

Prehensile tummy? Do they have you on codeine by any chance?

Glad you're feeling better.

meleah rebeccah said...

"Believe me, if I were dead, you'd be the first to know, because I am sure the high speed connection in Heaven is nothing short of divine.

Assuming, of course, that's the direction I'm headed. I hope it's not the other way. I hear the Devil has dial-up."


Avery Gray said...

Natalie--the book is historical-based fiction. She takes major literary license with some dates and events, but it sure is an entertaining romp!

Jef--I think you're looking for another kind of blog, my friend.

Groovy--it would probably freak them out! It would freak me out.

Maria--I don't get that channel, so no, but I am so renting it! Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is amazing!

Daryl--I haven't seen that one. Gonna have to now, though. Thanks for the recommendation!

GoneBack--thanks! I'm glad to be back, only now I have 350 unread posts in my reader. Maybe I should have just stayed in bed! ;o)

Karen--you and me both, sister! ;o)

Mike--I will address your concern soon. Please hold.

MamaGeek--it's amazing! The sights! The sounds! The colors! You really should give it a go.

Cami--you're going to love the book! That's Avery's money back guarantee!

Dooz--it's my speed, too! I have many different speeds.

Nan--the horror of which you describe is unspeakable! How in the world did you manage?!

Lilac--mmmm... Codeine...

Meleah--glad somebody finds joy in dial-up! ;o)

R said...

I understand the plight of not being able to stand up to fitness because of health!

I am so worn out lately (I don't know why yet) that I can barely run three miles or even get on the treadmill---when I am used to running five a day (or thirty miles a week!). I am a bit depressed about it, but my body just WON'T work for me. So I have failed fit friends. Good thing I did not join it or claim it! :))

Glad you had fun seeing a movie.

I hope you are really close to better.

Caffeine Court said...

Welcome back. Every once in awhile I too must put down the keyboard in order to feed my children, pay my bills, go potty.

Joeprah said...

No wonder my abs are rock solid. ;) Glad you are back!