Tuesday, February 5, 2008

It Burns! It Burns!

There's something seriously wrong with me.

I can't move; I'm stiff all over. Something beneath my skin just keeps burning and aching. I think the medical term those crazy whitecoats use is "overworked muscles". But what do they know? Feels like rigor mortis to me.

Am I too young to be searching WebMD for hernias? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I have one of those, too.

Who in the world came up with this accursed idea anyway?

Oh, now I remember.



Friend? Bah! I use that term loosely.

But it's not really Cami's fault. It appears that I have a magic breaking point on the elliptical. (Note to Dapoppins: an elliptical trainer is a common torture device which utilizes the walking motion of a treadmill, and the climbing motion of a stair stepper.)

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45 minutes on that bad boy feels fine.

50 minutes=worst. pain. imaginable.*

(*excludes childbirth, 'cause that certainly weren't no picnic neither. And also impalement with a rusty spike. Probably not pleasant. Same with being burned alive. Ouch. But other than that, 50 minutes on the elliptical=the worst.)

And can I just say--Wii boxing? Kicks my ass.

All that dodging and jabbing? Probably looked ridiculous, too. Good thing I was alone.

My husband lurves the boxing, and he's really good at it, but I could do without my son learning colorful phrases like:
  • "You want a piece of me?"

  • "Time to take out the garbage."

  • "I'm gonna beat you down and make you cry."

  • "Take that, sucka!"

Yes, my husband sure could make the Sharks and the Jets run for cover for fear of a smartly choreographed beatdown with his hardened gangsta vernacular.

(I just hope he gets out of that life before something terrible happens...like an off-Broadway tour of understudies. Jeepers!)

Well, I won't be taking him on anytime soon. Maybe if they made a version of shuffleboard for the Wii, I could manage something like that.

No. On second thought, I don't think I could.

When blogging is too painful, you know you're in bad shape.

20 comments:

sybil law said...

Baby steps, baby steps....
I wish I'd put money on the Giants.
Oh - and my daughter says, "You wanna piece of me? You wanna piece of this?!", so don't feel too bad.

CamiKaos said...

baby steps is right. I am sore too.

I won't wii box against Mr. Kaos much to his disappointment... He gets all competitive and trash talky and then beats up my mii.

I hate it.

So I too only box alone.

and it kicks my ass too... which tells me that I NEED to be working out.

dawn224 said...

there is a huge difference from 1 elliptical to another - some rip my knees apart and some don't - I don't know why.

holly said...

honey, this is going to be a long month if you insist on killing yourself every time.

plus, if you do kill yourself, it will seriously ruin my reading schedule. don't make me send the boys round.

take.it.easy!

you know what i friggin' hate? those stupid machines say "put your hands on the sensors to get heart rate" every other minute, and there's nowhere to type my "BITE ME!" response. i'm just sayin'.

Maria said...

Slow down!! Just...don' come to a complete stop like me...

Melinda Zook said...

That's too funny. I have been feeling that way myself these days. I am on some kind of rare high on working out. My elliptical, too, is getting more "action" than my hubby would like. It is practically killing me though. My sides feel like they have knife blades sticking out of them and my legs are aching with each step. I guess that's where the old phrase will getcha, "no pain,no gain." Sounds like you are doing good work though; just don't forget to take breaks occasionally!

BTW,I have a valentine at my blog for you.

terri said...

Can't you shave some time off the elipticle and count some other things as excercise? Like walking from the car into the grocery store? Or bending up and down at the washer and dryer? Walking up and down the stairs at home? Seriously, shave some time off the routine, girl!

Dapoppins said...

That contraption looks evil. Thanks for showing me that. Now I will have nightmares. I hope it doesn't start stalking me or anything. Make sure you don't tell it MY Name!

Kimberly said...

Owie.

I feel much the same and all I've been doing is producing phlegm.

Huckdoll said...

I hate the elliptical. Hate hate hate, but it's the only thing left when I get to the gym while I wait for the treadmill. Stupid, fogangled elliptical.

Groovy Mom said...

His hardened what? Whatsa vern-a-cu-lar? Oh never mind, I thought you was talkin' dirty.

clairec23 said...

I really need a Wii!! I would love to do the boxing!

I really need to get up off my arse full stop but I'm too tired so I'm going to laugh at your pain while my arse triples in size, should be any day now :D

Lilacspecs said...

I prefer eliptical machines actually...no impact on my bad ankle and arthritic knees (and they say highschool sports are good for you...pfeh). And yeah, the bike...my arch nemesis as well as my ticket to fitness...I can't describe the soreness in my nether regions following a decent bike ride.

meleah rebeccah said...

I am just recovering from my own work out. I was so sore I couldn't even lift my arms to shampoo the next morning.

man I am OUT OF SHAPE

Mike said...

I hate Wii boxing. It's the one game where it seems to do a really poor job of responding to my physical movements.

That being said, it really is good exercise. Exhausting.

Fooferoo said...

Game Party for the Wii has shuffleboard... although Skiiball (also on there) is more my cup of tea.

loveyh said...

Must get a Wii...sorry you're sore. Want me to store the Wii at my house so you don't overdo it? ;)

Love that the hubster is quoting Brit-brit by the by...

mielikki said...

I have been swimming for my work outs, so far. Tomorrow, though, is elliptical day. Suddenly, I am afraid...

MissGotWings said...

Wii boxing kicked my ass - I literally felt something tear the next day when I moved to fast. Never again!

Lizzi said...

45 MINUTES??? Seriously? I'm lucky if I make it 20 without gasping for air and writhing around the floor in agony ...

So it's probably a good idea I signed up for this working out thing.