Thursday, March 20, 2008

As I See It...

Sugarplum's Mom, that sweetie pot pie, has tagged me for an awesome meme, started by your friend and mine, Doodaddy. The theme--where will you and your kids be in twenty years and a day?

If you'd like to do this one, consider yourself tagged.




I think I feel a dream sequence coming on...


Tuesday, March 21, 2028

Waking up is hard. It was hard twenty years ago, but now that I'm alone in the house I used to share with my husband and my son, the days don't seem to dawn as bright.

Oh, I'm not generally prone to wallowing. It's been two years since Ron had that heart attack playing Guitar Hero XXVII. I told him it would be the death of him, but did he listen to me? Of course not.

"Woman," he said, "I'm a rocker through and through." Then his face turned bright red and he clutched his chest and fell to the floor.

He was gone, and I never got to tell him I told you so.

Losing the love of your life has a way of aging you ten years overnight. So, even though I'm only fifty-one this year, I feel like I'm sixty. Which still makes me a younger woman. He'd have turned sixty-three on the 24th.

The worst part about that day was that my son lost his dad.

They hadn't been seeing eye to eye on much, but there was no doubt how much they loved each other. Ron just wanted what any father wants for his young son--to get his head out of the clouds and figure out what he wants to do with his life. Unfortunately, Ethan got his flightiness from me.

Never my most endearing quality. Thank God he got his dad's brains, or I might fear he'll never leave that job at Jiffy Lube.

A man can't support a family on a measly $37 an hour. Barely even puts biodiesel in the tank.

Not that Ethan has his mind on starting a family just yet. He's been seeing someone pretty regularly. Jesse. Nice kid. And if Ethan wants to settle down with this individual of genderless nameage, I'll be happy with that.

Heck, I'll be happy with anything that makes him happy.

Unless what makes him happy is being a stripper. Or a dealer. Or a hippie. I have my limits.

Lately he's been talking about going back to school and finishing his architecture degree. I think he's finally feeling ready to grow up. Jesse must be a good influence on him.

They're coming over Friday night for dinner. I think Ethan knows how hard it will be on me, being alone on his dad's birthday.

He's a good boy, that one. I'm so lucky to have such a thoughtful son.

But today I'll be working on my book. It's been going well. I think I'm finally ready to start writing Chapter 2.

21 comments:

The Casual Perfectionist said...

"He was gone, and I never got to tell him I told you so."

ROFL!! Avery, you CRACK me UP!! This was a wonderfully hilarious peek into your future. :)

Groovy Mom said...

LOL! I felt like I was actually there with you, alone in your house. Um?

Jodi said...

"He was gone, and I never got to tell him I told you so."

LMFAO!

Took me a minute to finish reading, I had to wipe diet pepsi off my monitor.

Sugarplum's Mom said...

Although it's sad you killed off your husband, the bit about never telling him I told you so is hysterical.

holly said...

i too was laughing a certain butt off at a certain phrase. i think you know which one. (hint : the others mentioned it).

seriously, if you'd let me know earlier you could rid husbands with this thing, i'd have been bidding on ebay a LOOOOONg time ago. time to do some sniping...

wait - it took 20 years? shit. i ain't waiting that long. maybe if i get him *four* i can quarter the time. no? crap!

terri said...

I didn't even see that ending coming! It was perfect.

Caffeine Court said...

I've never thought I'd laugh thinking about someone dropping dead of a heart attack...

You can manage to make ANYTHING funny!

I hope you buried him with his guitar.

Sheila said...

Chapter 2?? LMAO!!

missburrows said...

Has anyone ever told you that you are unbelievably funny?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

Keep working on it.

;)

MamaGeek said...

Oh you're brilliant. Chapter 2? That's not half bad! :)

GoneBackSouth said...

Avery, as a relatively new visitor to your blog, I didn't know you'd lost your husband. As I flit from blog to blog I never know what I'm going to see ... this one took me by surprise and brought a little tear to my eye.

Mike said...

Great entry coupled with the rarest of the rare: a good meme. Nice. I may steal this idea.

meleah rebeccah said...

you are hysterical....goood luck with chapter two. writing is very had work.

Erin said...

You killed off your hubby? LOL!!! And with Guitar Hero?!? Oh, my goodness...just about wet myself, girlie!

M@ said...

A hippy! Good Christ!

Don Mills Diva said...

That was hilarious. I'm a new reader but commenting to say that cracked me up!

Freak Magnet said...

"His face turned red and.... " I kept reading, thinking "wow... pretty insensitive..." LOL I am so glad to know that this is all in fun... LMAO LMAO

Janie said...

That is priceless! I love it!

Bee Repartee said...

wow and no mention of buying the Lady of Guadalupe Costco casket..powder blue makes everyone look peaceful.

Guitar Hero XXVII was so much more addictive than Guitar Hero XXV or even Guitar Hero XXIV. At fifty-one, you could easily sue and live comfortably, even buy a few yard rocks from the neighbor.

Mya said...

Twenty years and a day to finish chapter 1 - that ain't bad, Avery.
Great post - most amusing.

Mya x

loveyh said...

So, when "Jesse" and Ethan get home, think they'd babysit Branon's firstborn? 'Cause I hate his babymomma...aka my daughter-in-law, and she's afraid of Ethan's lover.

Brilliant..as usual.