Thursday, April 17, 2008

Are You a Twit...terer?


One who twits?

Or is it tweets?

You know what I'm talking about, right? Twitter, the cultural wasteland internet phenomenon that everyone and their imaginary cat has jumped onboard. The "free social messaging utility for staying connected in real-time."

Yeah, 'cause I need a minute-by-minute account of my dental hygienist's day. (Yes, he tweets.)

You can follow me on Twitter, though I don't know why you'd want to. I hardly ever update it, much to the dismay of missburrows, who is, at this minute, apparently smelling her fingers.

See, it's things like that that I'm not sure I need to know about people.

Don't get me wrong--I'm a finger sniffer, too. I just don't know if I want to broadcast it to the world.

(Well, a little late now, I suppose.)

The gurus at Twitter consider their service a format for "free microblogging", which is a great option for anyone who can't afford the exorbitant cost of a Blogspot blog and has the attention span of a stoned gnat.

No offense, Miss B.

I just don't see the appeal, but, then again, I believe I have mentioned I'm not the most interesting person in the world. Maybe I just find it hard to believe that anyone would want a rundown of the activities of which my days consist in real time.

Let's see...wake up, feed the whelp mini muffins and Mountain Dew, order him umpteen million times to put on some pants, take him to school, sit on the couch and eats Bon Bons until it is time to pick him up, feed him again, "interact", feed the big one, "interact", bury my nose in a book and ignore them for the rest of the night, repeat.

There you have it. I just saved myself the trouble of logging on to Twitter a good twenty times right there.

Not that I do. I'm just sayin'.


Natalie said...

I have an account but I log on about once a month. I'm pretty sure this defeats the purpose of Twitter, because like you, I don't get it.

My twits would look like this:

I'm eating a roast beef sammich with bleu cheese on focaccia bread right now. The end.

I am sure someone much more witty than I could come up with a stellar way of saying the same sentence, but not yours truly.

Since I have a knack of turning the most mundane things into an essay (without Dooce's level of talent), why not save that for my REAL blog instead?

terri said...

I'm in full agreement with you on this. I have a twitter account, but I just really don't get it. Every time I log on there, I wonder why anyone would want to know things like,

"I'm sitting at work staring out my window."

"I'm ignoring my husband."

"I'm thinking about switching a load of laundry."


Bee Repartee said...

I'm a twitter fan...

I like that I can update the weird things that happen in my life, but not have to update my blog. and on those days when you don't feel like blogging, you can just send out a tweet (granted you need to put the thingie on your is a thingie, just go with it)

And for the record, you can set up your cell phone to text to you can text a tweet. Something like, "just saw bakery with giant sign: GET YOUR BUNS IN HERE"

The Casual Perfectionist said...

Nope...not a twitterererer here. I update my blog daily. The last thing I need is another addiction...internet or otherwise. ;)

CamiKaos said...

I commented on this in twitter... but since I know you don't log in there I felt inclined to tell you here. that your are a twitter hater...


that's a bit harsh. maybe you're just twitter indifferent.

yes. that's it.

and I like to call them twitterbugs.

Groovy Mom said...

Well, I'm going to be twittering during my trip (for which I leave in about 10 minutes!) via my cell phone. That way I can keep my blog friends in the know while on this very exciting trip.

I'll tell ya when Twitter gets really fun, when one is drinking in a bar and feels compelled to let the internet know all the stupid stuff he or she is doing and pulls out his or her cell phone where Twitter is on speed dial. Not that I have first hand experience with that.

Lilacspecs said...

I joined in on the Twitter thing cause, well, peer pressure man. Sometimes I don't update for like 4 days though, so I still consider myself a rebel. A Twitterebel mayhap.

Lindy said...

I twitter (one or twice a day) but don't understand the appeal. Some people (yes, I'm looking at you Cami) twitter all.the.time. They're like Mikey- they like it, they really do! I think they must understand something I don't!!

Mike said...

Not only do I not want to tweet, I can't imagine the information overload it would cause to actually subscribe to various twitter feeds (or whatever they're called). My day is already interruption filled thanks to all the porn on the internet.

Nan said...

I can kinda see the point, if you have friends and you want to know where they are RIGHT NOW! Instead of texting a whole conversation to say "where are you! Oh good. Get evaporated milk while you are there, or our tea party will be dairy-free." Also, if you don't have time to write a Blog Post, you can tweet "Busy! Back soon! Just rear-ended bus while texting to twitter!" to your blog.

I don't have an account though. I have ignored invites, because I just don't have time! I like facebook though. Found scantily-clad pictures of self in pink fish-net stockings and penis nose and glasses recently. Now where else would THAT happen? Oh yeah, anywhere online. Good think I,m not looking for a job.

Jo Beaufoix said...

I haven't twitted/tweeted, twittered yet. I just don't have time as I am far too busy and important. Snort.

Rima said...

Yeah, I totally jumped on that bandwagon a week or so ago, and now I want to get off. I have no idea how to use it and I always forget to update. Plus, I suspect that no one cares what I'm doing at a given moment. If I ever remember to log in again, I'll follow you. Mwa ha ha.

Sheila said...

I've yet to jump on the twitter wagon. I'm already involved in a few blog/online communities and I do not see the benefit of joining one more... Besides, I am too boring!

sybil law said...

I agree with you. I have Twitter account and I barely use it. No one seems to get that their personal lives really aren't that fricking interesting 24/7!
Plus, Twitter sounds like an effect of epilepsy. :)

The Immoral Matriarch said...


missburrows said...

Ok, miss Avery. I did see this blog post a while back, I did notice your slander towards me, but that's ok.

Why? Because when I tweet (that is what you say people!) I get more blog readers.

Done and done.

M@ said...

True or False:

The Internet is the most important thing in my life.

I would have to say true.

holly said...

listen you will never ever ever ever get me doing that.

no fricking way.

i don't sniff fingers.

oh and i will NOT twitter. i am rich enough for blogging. although i do have the attention span of a hey what's that shiny thing over there!

Janie said...

Fortune magazine wrote about the benefits of twitter.

I've not yet been on it.

I must be clueless.

Or busy.

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meleah rebeccah said...

Ive been known to Twitter now and then,....just added you. xxoo

rjlight said...

I've noticed that Twitter is the thing to to talk about right now. Do you wittle while you twittle? I do have the attention of a nat. but, what was I saying? Oh, I don't think I shall venture over to Twitter land some popular things should just be left alone.