Monday, April 28, 2008

Push This, Lovey

Lovey and I were talking on the phone this past weekend, and she said something that has stuck in my head since then.

"You're a pushover," she told me. "I love you, but you are."

And, man, if I weren't such a pushover, it would've come to fisticuffs!

Alright, it wouldn't have. And not because what she said is true, but because we went to school together, and I can still remember the whoopings she administered to a number of our unlucky classmates. The girl's scrappy, yo.

But while I have to respectfully disagree with her statement (please don't hurt me), her epithet of me is not completely unwarranted. I do have a hard time saying no to people. I can't tell you how many times in my life I have been told, "You're just too nice," in a bad way.

Man, if only they'd read my blog...

I can understand, from her point of view, why it would seem that I'm always caving to other people's demands. She's a strong, dominant woman who likes to have things her way. I wouldn't call her a control freak (to her face), but she certainly wears the pants in that family.

And while my fashion choices do tend to favor pants, dominant I am not.

I'm probably as laid back as a Republican can possibly get.

But a pushover? I don't think so. I have the mettle when it really counts. Just ask the women in my first mothers' group who made disparaging comments about my son behind my back.

Homey don't play that.

It takes a lot to rile me, but when you do, I will unleash the Avery Gray brand of fury on you--a piquant blend of pain and indigestion--the likes of which you won't soon forget. Unless I knock you silly with a well-placed roundhouse kick to the head, which badmouthing my son will get you.

I bike, people. You don't want to test me.

But anything less than that? Eh.

In the grand scheme of things, acquiescing to my husband's desire to spend wads of cash on a new video game system matters far less to me than having something we can enjoy doing together as a family. And if it makes him happy to boot, so much the better, because in the big picture, my life is pretty damned good thanks to him.

Plus, now if I find a set of patio furniture and spend a ridiculous amount of money on it, he hasn't got a leg to stand on, has he?

I pick my battles, my friend, and I choose them well.

19 comments:

terri said...

You're not a pushover. You simply have the ability to see the big picture. Didn't I tell you? New video game system for hubby = new anything YOU want. Well played!

Mike said...

You didn't let your husband go spend money on hookers, you agreed to have him buy a game that is best played WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY. It's bonding!

Groovy Mom said...

Banking spending allowances is always wise, if ya ask me. I can't complain about the new golf clubs hubby bought when I take trips and vice versa.

Fooferoo said...

If that darn loveyh called YOU a pushover I don't want to know what she calls me :) What is the word for worse than pushover? Roadkill?

missburrows said...

you. lovey. big inflatable sumo wrestling outfits. video tape.

GO. DO NOW!!

R said...

Right there with ya, honey. If he wants the MacBook Air, he can have it. That means I can never feel guilty again. How horrid of me to say so! :)

I get the whole "you never say no to people" thing too. I do, it just depends on what it is. I like to help. That is bad, I guess.

loveyh said...

One word: kitten.

So there. I may wear the pants in the family, but I do let him decide what's worn underneath...wait, that came out wrong.

Oh, well. So, when do we need to pick out a suitable clothing option for the July fete? ;)

Maria said...

I'm a pushover too. Yes, I said too. You're a pushover. :p

Momo Fali said...

No one can ever say you're not smart as a whip though!

meleah rebeccah said...

Homey Dont Play That!

hahahhaha

I haven't heard that in YEARS

Jo Beaufoix said...

I used to be a pushover, now I only am sometimes, and like you my sweet I would drop kick anyone saying stuff about my kid. Go girl.

Bee Repartee said...

I wouldn't say that you are a pushover. Just that you care about making other people upset..and further you are selective in what battles to fight. My sister is just like that. I however, am ready to throw down for EVERYTHING but it's taken some years to become more laid back.

Who wants to stroke out over something like people invading my personal bubble at the cash register?

"Excuse me, do you mind not breathing on my neck while I type my debit card #?!!!!!"

Feener said...

i have one friend who I KNOW thinks i am a push over, but she is such a brash women that i take it as a compliment.

Dapoppins said...

You are such a smart woman! Yeah, get that furniture! I saw a new line of out door paradise leisure loungers that would look great in your yard! The iron citronella candle sets even come with cool scrolls!


I think I tried to push you over once. But your too much like a weeble.

sybil law said...

I love pushovers! Haha
Not really.
You certainly don't come off as the type who finds it hard to say no, but you do come off as smart and snarky.
Which I like. :)

quilly said...

Just crusing by. I stopped to say I love your writing style!

holly said...

these people who badmouth your lovable son so deserve the biggest roundhouse kick that they stand in the way of.

when you get your patio furniture, which of course will have to be comfy to accomodate my ample frame, remember that i like my chair south-facing.

Michele said...

I used to never ever say no then I went to an assertive training class and got my first experience standing up for myself when the lady I baby sat for in College did not pay me enough. I called her on it and she apologized and said she thought she gave a certain amount and didn't. No hard feelings but it felt good to stand up. I used to cave into everything even if I did not like it but once I got married and had kids I say no a lot more. Kids help you with your excuse if it something you want to get out of. Don't mess with my family or I will fight back!

Deb said...

Never mess with Mama Bear!!! Rawwwrr...