Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Hello, Kitty

Allow me to introduce you to the newest member of the Gray household...


This little fella Ethan has dubbed Arrow. He's a 6-week-old Heinz 57, so graciously "gifted" to us by our wonderful neighbor, Deb.

(She's a dead woman.)

(I don't mean literally. Yet.)

Deb, you'll recall, is the boozing Brit who tempts fate by passing out crap candy at Halloween, and lives, it seems, solely to torment me.

Oh, I'm not saying the cat isn't cute, or that he couldn't possibly weasel his way into our shriveled black hearts. We're not monsters, or Korean, or anything.

(That's a joke. Monsters are totally misunderstood.)

No, it's the sneaky, underhanded means of foisting the cat on our unsuspecting selves that has me planning her slow, painful demise.

She asked our five-year-old if he wanted to take the kitty home.

Now, I'm not a rookie at this parenting game. Not only have I spent the last five-and-a-half years raising my own son, but I've been a very involved auntie in my 16 nieces and nephews lives for the past 20 years. And never--NEVER--have I encountered a play quite as reprehensible as the ol' tugging on the child's heartstrings to unload your bastard cats move.

Low, Deb. So very low.

Especially since she knew that he has been asking for a pet for the past two years.

I know the ultimate decision belongs to us, as his parents, and I suppose I could have done the appropriate (read "mean") thing and told him no, but I just couldn't find it in me to break his little heart.

I sent him to his dad instead.

How was I to know Squidward would cave?

So, yes, we have a cat, and a very happy little boy.

Watch your back, Deb. It's on now.


Lilacspecs said...

Aww, but he's sooo cute! And honestly, I think I probably would've been a much more responsible kid if I'd have had a pet. It gives you automatic chores to assign but unlike room cleaning or table setting, there's a fun reward to cuddle and play with.

Misssy M said...

You'll get no sympathy here, Blackheart.

I am like St Francis of Assisi. I'd have a houseful of all sorts if I was not stopped (by Meeester). Beautiful and adorable. And good for your boy to have around.

Of course now, you'll need to get him a wee friend to play with. Puppies are nice.

Immoral Matriarch said...

Awww! He looks just like Aoki - my mom's new persian kitten. So cute!

Tiff said...

HAHA Now thats just cold. She KNEW you could never say no to your son. What a sneaky neighbor. I think you should hire some local hoodlums at Halloween to egg her house. That would be funny. She would think they did it because they didn't like her shitty candy. LOL At least that's what happens where I'm from. Oh yea we've got the mack daddy candy around my house. I'm not stupid!

terri said...

Funny. That's exactly how we got our cat. Except the culprit was one of my best friends, so I refrained from plotting her demise.

Twelve years later, damn if that cat doesn't consider me her favorite person in the house. Probably because I feed her. And scoop her damn poop.

Once in a while she hocks up a nice furball right where the hubby's feet hit the floor when getting out of bed. And THAT is why I love her.

meleah rebeccah said...

Aww....that kitty is adorable.

Monsters really do have a bad rap!

Jodi said...

Brilliantly funny! Enjoy your new pussy cat!

Sheila said...

Uh-Oh, the gloves are off! Lucky for Deb he's such a cute little kitten!

Janie said...

He's beautiful. and you will so cave.


I can see it now....Avery does kitty litter commercials.


R said...

The cats are horrible to clean up after, cat hair in your food, on your clothes (heaven forbid you wear black ever), and on your furniture. Make sure it does not scratch up your couch too.

But they are cute, I am a closet cat lover myself, but my kids are allergic so we are off the hook. Instant rejection without the "mean" put into the equation.

That lady better watch her back.

Avery Gray said...

I know, I know...the cat is cute. And he's trained to go in the litter box, so that's another check in the "pros" column. Plus, he likes to sit on my shoulder like a parrot, and y'all know how I love a shoulder-sitting parrot...

The cat stays. It's Deb that has to go.

meleah rebeccah said...

Im sure you will craft a well devised plan on How To Make Deb Disappear!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Oh that was low. Does she have kids? I'd send them home with a couple of rats and a penguin next time I saw them.

holly said...

ooooooh a cat-fight!!! i loves me a cat-fight!

queen of hearts today said i said she could have a pet. i think someone is masquerading around here as me. i would never EVER say such a thing. not that i don't WANT a pet. i just don't want to have to clean pet-poo.

yeah. have fun with that. :)

dawn224 said...

oh I totally want a kitten now.

and you can always empty the litter box in her yard.