Thursday, May 22, 2008

Is She Still Alive?

Oh, did I not mention I'd be going on another blog hiatus?

Man, I gotta stop doing that.

Unfortunately, I can't guarantee it won't be like this for the foreseeable future. The sad truth is, my heart and my head just aren't in it. I'm struggling with some things healthwise, and it's affecting me more than I thought it was.

No, I'm not dying or anything. You can't get rid of me that easily.

But I certainly don't feel like I'm living either. I've been on autopilot for weeks now. I can't seem to care about anything beyond making it through the day without breaking down.

I know that sounds pathetically melodramatic, and it is, but, heck, this is my blog. And my pity parties are rollicking good fun.

(Virgin umbrella drinks! Yay!)

Mike says I should blog all the gruesome details, but I don't think he knows what he was asking for. He's a guy. Sure, they can blow out a monster's brains on a video game, or watch the goriest movie without flinching, but interrupt it with a tampon commercial, and they're mowing each other down and crawling over the dead bodies to get to the nearest exit.

"Women's trouble" scares them senseless.

But that's not exactly what I'm dealing with. Hormones, yes. But even that's enough for my husband to get a glazed over look on his face. I guess in his eyes, the two are synonymous. Hormones falls under the category "Mysterious Things I'd Rather Not Know About My Wife's Body".


On the bright side, he doesn't complain at all when the only thing I accomplish in a day is meshing a lovely floral arrangement for my Sims.


Yes, that's about the extent of what I can will myself to do some days. Sad, huh?

(Sadly awesome, that is!)

But some days are better than others, and it does seem that I'm having more and more of those good ones. I'm cautiously optimistic that that means I'm on the upswing, but I know better than to call the game now.

Hormones, like my mother, can be a fickle, fickle bitch.


Rachael said...

That is a kind of yucky place to be, but it won't be forever. Here's get well, get through it, hope it gets easier vibes coming your way...

Immoral Matriarch said...

Get better and come back soon, okay?

Mike said...

Well, you know where to find us.

Lilacspecs said...

I'll keep you on my Google REader, for when you're feeling better, which I hope is very soon.

And the floral arrangement for the Sims? Very cool...kinda useless, but totally cool.

Misssy M said...

Sorry to hear you're not well. I had a bout of hormone related depression a couple of years back (all to do with a dodgy contraceptive implant). I don't know if you have something similar, but certainly what you wrote rings true with me.

Hope you are getting the right kind of help and start feeling normal soon.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Ack, blumming evil hormones. I'm having treatment for mine as well at the moment, this stuff called cyclogest. I think it's helping.. My hairs still falling out but I'm sure it will stop soon, otherwise I'll have to change my name to Jo Baldfoix. Hugs to you my lovely and take as long as you need.

meleah rebeccah said...

aw. sunshine. thats not cool. Although your pity parties ARE a rocking good time.

Post when you feel like it.

*missed you*

Dapoppins said...

the blog world is so much less sarcastic without you. We need you.

P.S. Did I talk to you IRL this week? Was that you on the other end of the phone? Because YOU said nothing about hormones to me or ups and downs. ALL I got to hear about is the LAMP. Yeah it is cool, sorta, cause I can't set it on a real table or anything, but YOU I can have diet coke with, so YOU should have shared this big issue with ME and not MIKE.

caps intended. You know how loud I am when I am.

Avery Gray said...

Rachael--thanks so much! I can feel them. I really can! ;o)

Maria--thanks, sweetie. I will.

Mike--yeah, and don't you forget it! ;o)

Lilac--useless?! Why, it brings color and ambiance to their little Simmie homes! What could possibly be useless about that? ;o)

Misssy--I think depression would be a good word for it. Tired all the time, totally antisocial, just going through the motions. Yep, depression pretty much sums it up. Sucks though. Thanks for the well-wishes!

Jo--thanks, dearest! But if I did that, I might never come back! ;o)

Meleah--thanks so much for the support! And you know my pity parties would be totally lame without you, babe! ;o)

Dapo--why do you think I told Mike and not you? If I'd talked to you, I'd never hear the end of it! (And it would ALL be in ALL caps.) ;o) You know you're a shrieker, my dear.

Bee Repartee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bee Repartee said...

I hope you are feeling up to snuff soon.

(that's a cover for "I hope you are finished building your Gerard Butler shrine in the backyard. We all miss you..and seriously, who needs more than 140 candles and 5lbs of incense?")

loveyh said...

Avery--I lurve you. I missed you terribly these past two weeks, and I can't wait to crash the fun on Tuesday. Did I metion I'm lonely and lethargic too? Damn rain. :(

Groovy Mom said...

I've been there, totally understand. Some days all I accomplish is finishing a Guild Wars mission. Still, that's pretty uber cool.

MrEngineer said...

Do you need to visit the drag show with my wife again?

The Casual Perfectionist said...

I've missed you! I'm glad you gave us an update, and I hope you are feeling better soon!

holly said...

i hate hormione (that's the name of the person in charge of the hormones). she is an evil wench who needs punched in the gut.

if flowers keep you happy, do the flowers.

but are there no puppies AT ALL that you could kick? i love dogs, but i would accept a puppy kicking for your mental health.

hmmm....perhaps i have that wrong. nevermind, i'll go with it.

in the meantime, i'm going to teach my three year old phrases you would normally use, then wait for him to just randomly say them. that will placate me for now. he's not getting it *quite* right. he just said "what do you mean 'crack'" to one of his hotwheels.